things no one tells you about having a baby, since y’all think it’s cute lol

-they stick a catheter in you and peeing afterwards feels like literal death
-you cant walk or even sit up without excruciating pain
-a nurse comes in & PUSHES hard on your belly EVERY HOUR,more death

-the hospital will give you formula, that they are PAID by brands to give you. Usually similac, that has added white sugars (bad for baby). Don’t forget, it’s a business.
-a nurse takes you to the bathroom and helps you wash your panini with a squirt bottle (awkward)

-they literally leave you alone with the baby, no instruction manual??? And just tell you not to shake it
-they don’t let you leave until you poop
-a lactation consultant will harass you every hr, even after you leave about breastfeeding/make you feel guilty if you can’t do it