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As a trauma survivor, I have to remember not to spend too much time in spaces where I leave feeling worse than when I went in - whether that's more anxious or insecure about myself, less safe or angrier.
There are a few places, including Twitter, that can have that effect on me.
There are a few places, including Twitter, that can have that effect on me.
And yet I am drawn to these places more than others. I asked my former therapist about it recently. She helped me figure out that my brain isn't used to feeling calmer & happier yet, and it's looking to find its "normal": Trauma. Pain. Insecurity. Depression. Anxiety.
My job, as a trauma survivor, is to recognize when I'm trying to sabotage myself. Am I trying to go back to that hurt because it's my comfortable default? Am I not giving myself enough room to learn that it's ok to feel calm and happy and secure and safe?
It's a problem a lot of us have but don't always recognize until we're full in it and wondering why we feel like garbage when we've worked so hard to get better. So I'm sharing this to let you know this is common in PTSD/CPSTD survivors. Give yourself permission to feel good.
I'm not leaving Twitter by any means, but I am going to hold myself accountable in making sure I don't spend all my time here. And when I am here, I'm going to ensure I mostly engage with people whose core values are similar to mine. People who who care. People who are kind.
Fellow trauma survivors: We've suffered enough. We deserve to live our lives. We deserve to feel happy and safe. We deserve to heal. Give yourself permission to keep healing. 
