breaking my social media fast, which may or may not exist anymore, to share something i found really really helpful from today's therapy sesh. i figured out why i (we?) have so much trouble celebrating our wins
so ive been in therapy for 100 years. still anxious, but im pretty sure i was born that way so i'll stay that way. still depressed too, which i thought id be cured of by now. aa few sessions ago we talked about what i think a return to health 'should' look like
initially i figured itd look like being the person i was before i got depressed. energetic, not needing pep talks to do shit like go outside, cooking everyday, working out at least 30 mins at least 3 days a week, calling my mom everyday, etc.
that session i realized that im a completely different person than i was before i got depressed. also the world has changed a lot & things are just done differently now. not allowing for those things had me reaching for shit that was impossible.
so i make some concessions but say that i *still* want to be able to do some things that i dont want to do. like i cant just sit on the couch and never move in the name of accepting who i am, which is A Bitch Who Don't Like To Move. i still want to be able to eve if i dont want
so im like how do i do it, whats the secret???? and she's like practice doing things you dont want to do. and i was like so... the answer to doing these things... is... to just... do it??
but the key word there is practice. i never think of having to practice 'normal' things
but the key word there is practice. i never think of having to practice 'normal' things
i almost joined the track team in high school until i found out they practiced everyday. thats the extent to which i do not enjoy practicing anything. i had big ol strong legs too. i coulda been a contender.
but the lady said practice doing things iont wanna do, so i have been
but the lady said practice doing things iont wanna do, so i have been