This happens because people misunderstand the character.

Joe isn't an anti-hero, he's not a nice guy with a bad side; he is just bad. If you watch to the end of season one, you see this in his closing thoughts. https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/stalker-valentines-day-cards

I thought You, especially the first series, was absolutely incredible for the level of depth it included in how people social engineer using social media, especially Instagram.

Penn Badgley's performance was astonishingly good at highlighting the conflict between how Joe views himself and who he really is.

He's a terrible person with disgusting motivations, but believes he is the victim in these situations. The mistake is to symphatise with that.

That's why it's important that people don't conflate his view of the world with the reality.

@RefugeCharity has a good thread on this https://twitter.com/RefugeCharity/status/1359872229316714497?s=20