Read on Twitter
Very important excerpt from the book "A guide to male-female interaction in Islam” by Dr. Hatem al Haj. /1
I know I used to be more comfortable with more casual public interactions on the TL, but I know that myself and others have noticed many harms of doing so regularly, even for simple things like making memes and jokes. /2
We have seen people import their perceptions of the opposite gender from twitter on to their direct, "real" relationships, and especially their perception of marriage. The sentiment that men or women are categorically trash is reinforced through constant negative messaging /3
And this collective sentiment teaches us that any relationship with them will be one filled with negativity, hostility, mistrust. /4
On the other hand, constant joking together, leads to flirting. For example:
Guy: posts meme
Girl: teases guy by replying to meme and applying meme to guy
Guy: somehow turns it back on her
Girl: jokingly express frustration /5
Guy: posts meme
Girl: teases guy by replying to meme and applying meme to guy
Guy: somehow turns it back on her
Girl: jokingly express frustration /5
Occasional jokes like this, sure they might be okay. But a regular habit of this, and with the same people involved every time, is surely flirting.
And worse than that, it often disposes girls to see certain guys as not guys but like other girls whom they can open up to. /6
And worse than that, it often disposes girls to see certain guys as not guys but like other girls whom they can open up to. /6
I know examples of the opposite happening as well.
And without proper boundary management, emotional affairs begin. The discomfort that one should have with non mahrams is eliminated. The love and reverence between wife and husband fades away.
Actual affairs begin. /7
And without proper boundary management, emotional affairs begin. The discomfort that one should have with non mahrams is eliminated. The love and reverence between wife and husband fades away.
Actual affairs begin. /7
If you are single, behave as you if you were already married and your spouse was in the picture.
Don't be naive and fool yourself into thinking that you'll be loose with the opposite gender now, and that you'll merely change when you enter a relationship. /8
Don't be naive and fool yourself into thinking that you'll be loose with the opposite gender now, and that you'll merely change when you enter a relationship. /8
To hold such a view would mean you're changing because someone entered the picture, not because you believe it is a timeless principle that ought to be followed. /9
Sometimes my male friends who are talking to prospective wives will recount how the girl will come up with the most wild scenarios to justify casual interactions with males in their friend groups.
The opposite definitely happens as well. It's difficult to mitigate such ties /10
The opposite definitely happens as well. It's difficult to mitigate such ties /10
When they are solidified so strongly. Take measures now to distance yourself from such relationships, or restore proper decorum.
It will save you from many of the problems in your relationships. /11
It will save you from many of the problems in your relationships. /11
May Allah grant us resolve and ease and allow us to uphold nobility and dignity in all our intersctions.
