Can we just agree that the majority of people are trying to be polite when they email you, even if their email norms are slightly different from yours, and evaluate emails based on the actual contents not the salutations? https://twitter.com/samlwalton/status/1359444841332097024
The only important email etiquette is to actually put a useful subject line, the rest is mere window dressing, I'm an internet linguist and you can cite my dang book about it
Everyone is trying so hard and feeling so tired and we're still in a dang pandemic, seriously email greetings are the place where we can be cutting each other THE MOST SLACK https://twitter.com/w8emv/status/1359743125548335104?s=19
it's the people who are uptight about email signoffs who are wrong https://twitter.com/archduketyler/status/1359743060662509568?s=19
if you absolutely require a particular email opener/closer in order to be able to read the rest of the email, you should be required to post your unreasonable expectations prominently on your website so people have a crying chance of knowing them, we're not mind readers
There are so many subcultures on the internet, ESPECIALLY since email is largely private, that:

a) what's normal in one subculture's email is uncommon in another's

b) it is impossible to reliably communicate passive aggression in email

Set yourself free and stop trying!
This attitude is correct. Free your brain cells and ignore the greeting/signoff entirely! https://twitter.com/Fore_Says/status/1359737262674616320?s=19
Okay I will also accept entirely nonsense signoffs https://twitter.com/GlennF/status/1359748586011987968?s=19
People fairly regularly tell me that they're self-conscious about their language/punctuation when they address me after reading Because Internet

But like, analyzing this stuff means that I LIKE THEM ALL. YOU'RE GOOD. REALLY.

you too can be this free, it's all in the mindset!!
If people have a genuine problem it is their responsibility to bring it up in a way that you are able to address rather than sending you cryptic flowers

Enjoy the bouquet!!! https://twitter.com/M__Verbruggen/status/1359745697575301120?s=19
Here's a hot linguist protip for what to do when you encounter some bit of language you're less familiar with:

You can say "oh, how interesting!"

There can be lots of ways of saying things and they're all great! Words are not a zero-sum game! https://twitter.com/slgranrichter/status/1359748736101015553?s=19
I find it fun and interesting when people use novel/characteristic signoffs!

But I also don't want people who haven't thought of one to feel bad for being unoriginal or something, really, everything is fine! https://twitter.com/Ada_Palmer/status/1359754101983223809?s=19
Less email salutations discourse, more effective subject lines, that's the world I want to live in https://twitter.com/kirbyconrod/status/1359755479187001345?s=19
The only things everyone likes is having their name spelled correctly and an informative subject line

Everything else is a matter of personal/subcultural preference and therefore the reasonable thing to do is be generous and charitable with each other https://twitter.com/littledreamer_/status/1359754495261986816?s=19
Exactly! Seeing an awkward greeting/closing should make you MORE sympathetic to the person sending it https://twitter.com/Ada_Palmer/status/1359756565914529796?s=19
People sometimes treat words like antidotes, like you gotta have the exact right one for the situation or it's dire

When really words are more like cheeses and most situations are improved by a massive cheese plate with lots of delicious options https://twitter.com/v_masten/status/1359758202594762752?s=19
Exactly. Unless someone is addressing emails "dear fuckface", it's fine.

(And even if they are, it's not the choice between dear/hi/hello that's the problem!!!) https://twitter.com/LevParikian/status/1359474853330497540?s=19
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