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So @Rest0red - first thing to say I don't work for them, and not had any volunteer training with them so don't have the 'official line - so this purely my own perspective - if you really want to find out more do give them a follow or visit their website https://www.restored-uk.org/
Not quite sure where to stay with these things - but lets go back to 2011, a single parent for only a couple of years and I went off to Spring Harvest where I heard @mrbeechy talking, I forget what on, but he mentioned Restored and I started following his blog & Restored
I followed passively for a few years thinking "this is interesting" then in 2014 I read a post of theirs and thought "wow" something clicked and I decided to do a fundraiser for them. They were super excited about it subsequently invited me to their AGM that November
In the meantime I made my 1st visit to @greenbelt where they had a stand and picked up some of their literature for the first time including their amazing Church Pack. I was blown away by the statistics....
1 in 4 women in the church have experienced domestic abuse, a brilliant illustration of a "not a saint just an ordinary man" opposite an abusive man with examples of abusive behaviour. I showed it to a friend who went quiet, not long after she left her partner and disclosed abuse
That image alone had made her realise that what she was experiencing wasn't normal.
At this stage I hadn't put the pieces of the puzzle together and recognised my own previous relationship as abusive even though it was covered in " red flags"
At this stage I hadn't put the pieces of the puzzle together and recognised my own previous relationship as abusive even though it was covered in " red flags"
That realisation came much more slowly, as I started to talk about Restored at church but not getting much response, a new incumbent at our church started asking more questions about my own history...then it started to fall into place....
"I" was a survivor, but no-one in my church had recognised it, not even me! For them, through no fault of their own, this was an abstract topic something that happened to 'others' - but "not in our church". As I started to talk about it happening our church too I saw changes..
A couple of people I'd known for years started to drop into conversations how their previous marriage or relationship had been abusive, the silence, shame and stigma had been removed and domestic abuse became much less of a taboo subject..
A few years after that I volunteer on a stand at the Keswick Convention with them. Time and time again women would approach the stand and be slightly apprehensive, as I soon as I said "I'm a survivor" they would open up and share part of their story. It was heartbreaking at times
But often the hardest part is telling 'someone' - I often pray that some of those women have since been able to move on in a positive way. Far too many women in our churches remain trapped in abusive relationships because of the teaching of the church
Now Restored has a fantastic survivors network which people can be referred to, but it was still in development at the time. Having a safe space to share and recover is so important, especially with the added complexity of our faith to add into the recovery process
With the men at Keswick they'd start with "it doesn't happen in our church" - I'd counter with "are you SURE" - and tell some of my story. Many hearts remained hardened, but others sat up and took note and signed up to @FirstManStandng
Engaging men in ending violence against women is crucial, it 'not a women's issue - it's a human issue. With 3 boys I know how important it is to make sure that they understand consent, healthy relationships, and are willing to speak up when they see abuse of women occurring.
For church leaders who wanted to engage they wanted to know what they could do. Restored offer training https://www.restored-uk.org/what-we-do/equipping-church/training/ and resources to help churches in the fight to help end violence against women...I can't really say it any better than their own words on this..
"We want to create a network of churches that never tolerate abuse, that teach and model healthy and equal relationships between men and women and that provide a safe refuge for survivors, nurturing them back to health and demonstrating God’s deep love for them."
I could really tweet all night about them, but I'll stop for now (though happy to engage in any questions or conversations!) but suffice to say with a tiny team, and a HUGE problem (and not much funding) it's a huge mountain to climb.
And that's why I've included them in my fundraising for my virtual walking challenge - I'd walk the equivalent of Lands End to John O Groats AND back again to help make see a network of churches that don't tolerate abuse, and for fewer women to go through what I have.
