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Someone tweeted this out last week, and it caused me to reflect on my own trauma working in software development:
"People leave jobs because they’re underleveled, underpaid, treated poorly, or not being adequately challenged. Fix it, they’ll stay."
A
"People leave jobs because they’re underleveled, underpaid, treated poorly, or not being adequately challenged. Fix it, they’ll stay."
A
I started my career in software development in 1997, and the vast majority of my experiences have been fantastic.
However, pain leaves a mark that causes almost everything else to fade away.
Most of my pain started when I changed from an individual contributor (IC) to a manager
However, pain leaves a mark that causes almost everything else to fade away.
Most of my pain started when I changed from an individual contributor (IC) to a manager
It was when I became a manager that I heard senior leaders say things like, "If someone doesn't like working here, they can quit. There are 30 people who would kill to work here."
Or, "My leadership style is 'mean". I don't trust developers and they need to prove their value."
Or, "My leadership style is 'mean". I don't trust developers and they need to prove their value."
These comments were directed at ICs, but the people who said these things were always the people who treated me the worst.
They would call me when I was on scheduled vacations with my family and insist that I had to prematurely end my time off and address some work issue.
They would call me when I was on scheduled vacations with my family and insist that I had to prematurely end my time off and address some work issue.
If they thought I would let their calls go to voicemail instead of answering, they would have someone else call me and then jump into the conversation.
They would walk silently into my cubicle and then wait for me to turn around and be surprised they were standing behind me.
They would walk silently into my cubicle and then wait for me to turn around and be surprised they were standing behind me.
Any perceived slight was harshly punished.
The irony was that I was leading high performing software development teams. So, the mistreatment I experienced wasn't because of poor results.
Thankfully, these experiences have been rare in my career. Rare, escapable, and survivable.
The irony was that I was leading high performing software development teams. So, the mistreatment I experienced wasn't because of poor results.
Thankfully, these experiences have been rare in my career. Rare, escapable, and survivable.
I always remember that the people I have the privilege of serving as an engineering manager often come to me loaded with past trauma.
Trauma has a tendency to echo. It reverberates in ways that can cause us to flinch even when nothing is coming to hurt us.
Trauma has a tendency to echo. It reverberates in ways that can cause us to flinch even when nothing is coming to hurt us.
It takes time, but I try to build a relationship with my developers that allows them to share their trauma. I know that some won't ever feel safe enough to do so. But, for those who are willing, learning about their trauma helps me know how to support them through those echos.
By the way, the person whose tweet inspired this thread has set the privacy so that it's not public. So, I'm withholding attribution out of respect to their privacy.
