I have learned - through experience now - that if a white man is throwing a tantrum in an organizing space about something, it's usually not a space I ever need to return to. lol. Had to learn that lesson a few times.

White men in organizing spaces who throw tantrums are usually being called out for their racism - usually by women and non-men, or called out for not including care work, or for being ableist or exclusionary. They're almost always wrong and they are very loud and mean about it.

Returning to those spaces has never helped me. Especially when they were allowed to act that way and other white people in the space didn't address/ interrupt the behavior. That tells me that this will happen often and I will have to advocate for myself over and over.

Honestly, this kinda applies to men in spaces in general. If other men do not step in to interrupt another men yelling at you - a non man in a space (virtual or physical), then a discussion NEEDS to be had IMMEDIATELY with everyone.

Not addressing outbursts like that leads to much more toxic behavior to be addressed in the future, is probably a sign of other shit that hasn't been addressed either, and is a red flag for survivors in the space, especially BIPOC survivors.