Men have a responsibility to deal with the epidemic of misogyny that’s rampant in the male community. You are not doing your part simply by not being an asshole. You must be an anti-asshole.

If you want to be able to say you’re a good guy and that you’re not a misogynistic guy, maybe think about your role in a bigger way. It’s great if you’re a man who isn’t actively misogynistic, but it’s not enough. So what else can and should you do?

Virtually every man I know has a friend or a colleague or a relative who they know or think is likely behaving badly toward women — on the internet, in person, wherever. Have you confronted that guy? Don’t say you tried. Try again. Then do it again.

Do you have a son? Oh he’s only 4? And you think that’s too young to discuss such things? Actually no. It’s not. Teach your son to be an ally to women and to stand up against misogyny. Raise feminist sons.

Teach your daughters they are not ever, ever obligated to tolerate mistreatment based on their gender. Period. End of story. Teach them to be loud, to not conform ever to what some man says they should be.

Don’t laugh at misogynistic jokes. Don’t laugh at rape jokes. Don’t tolerate people telling those jokes. Treat jokes about sexual violence against women seriously. Don’t be silent.

Stop suggesting or tolerating anyone else’s suggestion that women putting their collective feet down about misogyny means women are unwilling to be criticized or that men “literally can’t say anything” without getting in trouble. That’s ridiculous.

Listen. To. Women.