I got many responses to my latest newsletter from folks who:

1. Didn't know that I have/experience depression & anxiety
2. Were grateful to have someone else to talk to, as they do also

A short thread about that, to make sure everyone hears it, not just newsletter folks.

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I have experienced some form of anxiety since college, when I got stress/tension headaches and the school health folks told me to drop a class, sleep more, and get massage. It worked.

I didn't think about it much since then.

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In 2015, some key parts of my life got way worse & I became depressed, but I was only going to religious therapists who tried to fix my thinking instead of recognizing & diagnosing the issue. It took until a year or 2 ago that I was formally diagnosed w/depression/anxiety

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A few years ago I started experiencing anxiety attacks. I had no idea what they were & thought I was dying. The first was before a conference talk; the biggest on the way to @LaraconAU. Thankfully a few close friends walked me through it, to whom I am eternally grateful.

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I'm now taking medicine & regularly benefiting from yoga & breath meditation. I have a therapist & psychiatrist who both are willing to call an issue what it is and a supportive company and family and friend circle that gives me space to experience and process it.

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The things that were *most impactful* to me:

1. @greggyb openly talking about mental health at Laracon years ago
2. @taylorotwell walking me thru my two hardest anxiety attacks
3. A *good* therapist who called it what it was
4. @dsheetz giving me space & support at work

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5. Encouragement from friends to keep talking about it publicly ( @jbrooksuk & @sara_bine, among others)
6. A supportive work culture at @TightenCo where don't have to hide our difficulties
7. Probably a *million* other things... I can't remember everything.

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So, why am I tweeting?

It's obvious to me--it's part of my story--that people talking about it publicly is helpful for folks who are suffering privately.

*YOU ARE NOT ALONE.* You are not broken. You are not weak. There is help to be had; you need to reach for it.

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At times, it feels shameful to share. I feel that even now. Who will judge me? Who will look at me differently? Will this harm my reputation? My prospects?

I can't guarantee nothing bad will happen. But I can guarantee that your best chance of healing comes in opening up.

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So.. find a therapist. Talk to your friends & family.

A few resources:

- I talked about this on @HappyDevFM: https://www.happydev.fm/s1/2 
- @greggyb on "Developers & Depression":
- @OSMIhelp
- You have more friends than you realize who will help

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Oops, newsletter link if this has left you curious what I write about (combination of tech, running a business, life, family, kids, etc.... it's a grab bag).

https://mattstauffer.com/newsletter/ 

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