The first assumption of Critical James Lindsay Theory is that James Lindsay always has bad motives and is a stupid grifter who may have lost his mind. It holds that this is the ordinary James Lindsay state of affairs, not an aberration from them, his "normal science."

The second assumption of Critical James Lindsay Theory is that being a James Lindsay fan, especially (hot) fangirl, is disingenuous and illegitimate, a product of being brainwashed by James Lindsay into supporting James Lindsay even though he's a stupid grifter who went crazy.

There are no true James Lindsay fans or supporters according to Critical James Lindsay Theory. There are only Twitter sycophants who hope to get famous, praise, or otherwise noticed by senpai, who is a stupid grifter who went insane and deserves no friends or family.

According to Critical James Lindsay Theory, James Lindsay doesn't do anything that isn't also in the best interests of James Lindsay. This is called James Lindsay Interest Convergence, and it makes him a stupid grifter who is always wrong and also evil.

Critical James Lindsay Theory knows that the stupid grifter James Lindsay has never read any of the books he comments upon, and when he quotes entire paragraphs from them verbatim on the spot this is actually a form of illusion, false consciousness, and brainwashing.

In Critical James Lindsay Theory, it is understood that saying anything positive about James Lindsay, or defending him against smears, is a defensive rhetorical strategy known as "James Lindsay fragility," or"James Lindsay Devotion Syndrome," that proves one's brainwashing.

Accordingto Critical James Lindsay Theory, James Lindsay is a racist, sexist, misogynistic, fat, dumb, trolling, crazy, gabage, lying, Nazi, fascist piece of shit, and James Lindsay supporters and fans are brainwashed sycophantic losers who are all of those things but even worse.

The Critical James Lindsay Theory movement rethinks traditional notions of James Lindsay and smears him as an evil anti-Semitic grifter who obviously lost his mind and shouldn't be associated with, appreciated, befriended, trusted, or taken seriously, like every he knows too.

As is understood by all Critical James Lindsay Theorists, anything James Lindsay or his supporters say in his defense reveals James Lindsay Fragility and is further proof that he and they are stupid, evil, and insane and want bad things for minorities groups.

In Critical James Lindsay Theory, penis size isn't everything, and James Lindsay's penis is probably small anyway. It has to be. Has to. Not that it matters. Because Critical James Lindsay Theory makes your dick grow. Bigger than his, anyway. Not that it matters. Gah!

The third core assumption of Critical James Lindsay Theory is guilt by association. Everyone James Lindsay associates with is probably evil, which makes James Lindsay evil (also stupid) and his associates evil too (also brainwashed) and very guilty. Shunning James Lindsay is best

Critical James Lindsay Theory holds that it is superior not to write a book at all and to write Very Smart blog posts and tweets about people named James Lindsay and how bad their books and dissertations are because you might expose yourself instead of James Lindsay if you did.