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Strap in folks, it’s rant time.
Pretty much my entire career has been spent in roles where I’ve been regularly supporting customers, either internal or external. I love it! I want to help you solve your problem, but I also want to make you happy in the process.
I’m good at it, too - both the solving problems part and the making people happy bit. Over time this means you get harder problems (yaaay!) but also sometimes people who are already unhappy (boo).
I’ve come to enjoy the challenge of making unhappy people happy again almost as much as the challenge of solving their problems in the first place. If you’re good at this you learn how to be charming in context-appropriate ways (as well as helpful, of course!)
(It’s more art than science, but I’ve been asked if I could actually teach people this in a work context. I don’t know, yet. But don’t ever knock the soft skills, folks - they have been *critical* to my career.)
Like most people who’ve been in any kind of support role for a while, I’ve had a few customers who’ve crossed boundaries. The worst was one of the first, where someone looked up my home phone number and rang me at home for tech support (back in the days of the white pages!)
I’ve also had customers reach out for help via DMs on various services, though this is relatively rare.
What I have *never* had, in (gulp) 22 years in tech, is customers *hitting on me*.
Why not? I think we know why.
What I have *never* had, in (gulp) 22 years in tech, is customers *hitting on me*.
Why not? I think we know why.
*Every woman I have worked with* has a story about a customer who crossed that line. A customer who thought it might be appropriate to hit on them via a professional channel, or to look them up and contact them via other channels with often creepy or inappropriate messages.
I use my real name and photo on ticketing systems and professional networks and have never had a problem with this. I work with colleagues who have had problems with this even when using no photo, or blurred/low-res photos, or not-obviously-gendered names.
We explicitly allow support agents to use a false identity, so that they don’t have to expose their real name, face or gender online. I support this *anyway*, but the fact that I have colleagues who feel they need to take advantage of it for their personal safety breaks my heart.
DO NOT SEND CREEPY MESSAGES TO WOMEN ONLINE.
Not at all, but *especially* not in a professional context. Maybe you don’t realise it’s creepy? If you’re unsure, just don’t. Do you think she’s trying to hit on you? She’s not. Do you think she wants you to hit on her? She does not.
Not at all, but *especially* not in a professional context. Maybe you don’t realise it’s creepy? If you’re unsure, just don’t. Do you think she’s trying to hit on you? She’s not. Do you think she wants you to hit on her? She does not.
Being able to share my identity freely in a professional context has had measurable positive impacts on my career. *Not* being free to share that is *detrimental* to your career in a world where every applicant is going to be searched extensively online.
LinkedIn requests from customers are fine! (Though tell me how we’ve worked together, please 
). But remember that LinkedIn is not a dating network. Just don’t ever go there.
). But remember that LinkedIn is not a dating network. Just don’t ever go there.
Even if we give you the benefit of the doubt (which statistically you do not deserve) and assume that you meant nothing remotely unprofessional by your messages intended merely to compliment someone, you need to think much harder about the context.
If someone is being friendly with you, even *charming*, please remember that it is *literally their job* to make you feel happier as well as to solve your problem. They are not batting their eyelids at you.
When contacting them via *any* channel you need to think about whether this message could be misconstrued by someone who - for *sure* - has received inappropriate messages from people just like you before.
Rant ends. (*phew*)
