The Oscar shortlists are out, so allow me to rant about my least favorite category: Best Original Song.

There's no other category that has misfired as badly as this one over the last 25 years. Here's a thread of songs that not only didn't win but WEREN'T EVEN NOMINATED:

In the category of inexcusable omissions, there's "Glasgow" from WILD ROSE

"Drive it Like You Stole It" from SING STREET. Not nominated.

"Please Mr. Kennedy" from INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS. Not nominated.

Speaking of which, how do they ignore so many songs from movies explicitly about musicians? Like "Fever Dog" from ALMOST FAMOUS. Not nominated.

And "Pop Goes My Heart" from MUSIC & LYRICS. Not nominated.

Is it a stretch to say "Inside of You" from FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL should have been nominated? Not to me.

All right, now it's time for the absolute mind-blowers. "A Waltz for a Night" from BEFORE SUNSET. Not nominated.

How about this one? Are you ready? Are you really really ready?

"That Thing You Do!" wasn't nominated for an Oscar.

I could keep going. How about nominations for "Ramona" (SCOTT PILGRIM) or "Stu's Song" (THE HANGOVER)?

Or my personal favorite, "Mommy and Daddy and Genius Girl" from THE MEYEROWITZ STORIES?

And if you wanna go back further than the last quarter century, it's worth noting that not a single song from THIS IS SPINAL TAP was nominated.

To be fair, there have been some good oddball nominations, like "Blame Canada" and "Everything is Awesome." There have been some undoubtedly correct winners like "Shallow," "Remember Me," and "Skyfall."

But too often, the Oscars go for a star-sung song played over the end credits. One that has nothing to do with the movie and is only there to win an Oscar. It's awards show nonsense. It's anti-cinema. They should pick songs that are actually in the damn movies.

One step towards fixing this is to change the rules. The nominating committee receives only a three-minute clip of each submitted song. Maybe they've seen the whole movie anyway, but the process sends a signal that the song should be taken out of context.

Or just make it so that songs that only play over the end credits are ineligible. That would be easy, but it would rob the Oscars of their ability to draw pop stars who don't necessarily act to the ceremony.

In other words, it would rob us of that Pharrell opening number.

I doubt these changes will ever happen, so instead, please enjoy the alternate-reality winner for Best Original Song at the 2005 Oscars.