(1) Idk how much I feel about “you are the first in your legacy to break the pattern.” In my family, trauma is clearly a result of imperialist violence, but that implies there were those in my lineage who tried to resist it. Obviously the violence was too great and we succumbed,
(2) but part of my spirituality and mental recovery has been about learning that if *I* can resist, it’s because “resistance” existed in my bloodline *before* me. It took me a lot of inner work to realize my family lineage was not “all” bad or “all” good.
(3) Western frameworks would have you believe you are the sole healer in a line of toxicity. While this may be true, I feel it’s individualistic & robs us of identifying with strengths/powers beyond ourselves & seeing how trauma is *created* in our ancestry and community.
(4) Thinking you’re the only one doesn’t allow you to see how the trauma might have been created & how others struggled to break free before. I often think about my uncle with BPD and his version of this struggle. [His] Resistance existed before me.
(5) There’s complexity to *how* my family learned to survive and the Secret History of those who tried to break free before me, even if the response to their trauma ended up hurting me. Nowadays I can affirm *both* the trauma I encountered from home & the resolve of my people.
(6) Not to say this is how all people should feel about their families. But “I am the only one” is a very yt framework that IMHO robs our ancestors of agency. Feeling like the only one in your immediate generations is still real though, so I don’t want to negate that.