I don't think I had the same trans childhood I hear a lot of ppl describe. like I didn't sit there thinking "oh no I can't fulfill my role of masculinity" there wasn't anything inherently trans in me. I was depressed because I had abusive siblings & no understanding of trauma.

I didn't fit in socially because my families modeling was so esoterically fucked. I'm pretty sure I was just so traumatized by masculinity and was pushed so hard into it that I dipped out. i found a way of life and being that works better, is healthier for me.

I wasn't a girl or woman or anything. I was a boy as much as I had nothing else to be. But mostly I wasn't a person at all. I found a way to be a person. I didnt find out anything inherent about myself I just survived and in that survival I became who I am now.

and being a woman hasn't solved my problems or trauma or bad habits, but it's allowed me the space enough to breathe that I can work on those things in a conscious and forward thinking way.

anyway yes im reading detransition baby and thinking a lot. I might say things in the future or have said things in the past that contradict this thread. you have to believe that those things are also true and find the whole outlined by the parts. thanks for reading my ramble lol