I've been talking with a lot of editors, writers, and artists who are suffering from anxiety and restlessness. Some of it could be COVID blues but I think there's something else at play.

You get a high you from having publishers bid on your book, signing a major contract, from accolades like awards or a blurb from your fave writer. But what happens in the lull between those high points is actually most of your career. This is the forever problem.

Some writers are always sharing big news. If they don't have a new deal announcement, they're embarrassed because they don't feel like they're doing enough.

Or they might even see another writer who is constantly announcing deals and think "Why am I not as successful as that person? Am I missing out on something?"

Perhaps there's some buzz around a writer, a perception that they're a rising star. Maybe they have 100k followers on social media and so they MUST have made it, right?

The fact is, online presence will only get you so far. If you're hugely popular for posting online, publishers will bid on the possibility that some of those people following you will buy your book.

But after the book has published if the sales aren't there (or the accolades/plaudits), they'll eventually realize that those followers aren't following to read books, they're there for the spectacle.

So maybe that Internet Hot Writer sets up a half dozen deals rapidly and then never publishes again. Or self-publishes. Which is fine! There's nothing wrong with that. The value of art isn't defined by commerce.

But where this ties back to the forever problem is that you need to find a way to be happy with yourself, independent of what's going on in your career; independent of "success" or the perception of it.

As an agent, I could be sitting at the National Book Awards next to one of my clients as their name is called and then check my phone and see an email from a client who wants to have a conversation about why their book isn't selling.

Or maybe on a hard day when I seem to be doing a lot of soul-crushing work, I see another agent who just seems to be effortlessly making deal after deal. And I think "What am I doing wrong?"

So the forever problem is this: how do you get satisfaction from what you do when it's central to your identity as a person? If art is your life, how do you enjoy the thing that gives you purpose when it's got you down and you feel insecure?

Do you look for the approval of others? Do you focus on the work? What is specifically triggers your anxiety? There's not an easy or universal answer to this. And as long as you're creating, it never ends.

Talking to a therapist has been really helpful for coming to terms with the Forever Problem for me. Likewise, a confidant who isn't afraid to call you on your bullshit is helpful for getting to the root of things.

This isn't a subtweet (sub-thread?), it's just a conversation I've been having a lot lately with some very talented people that I admire.