Thread by @KatieWhyatt, Have seen lots of female colleagues talking about their experiences of trolling [...]

Have seen lots of female colleagues talking about their experiences of trolling and wanted to add my piece as have been thinking lots. Social media needs to do more but people often forget that football's problem with women inhabiting the space goes far beyond this site

9 times out of 10, I ignore any abuse I receive not only because I don't want to give oxygen to it but because the majority of it isn't rational or reasonable enough to be worth worrying about - so I don't. When I was at the Telegraph, I got so much - from the same names - that

it just became white noise. I wouldn't look because there was no point: there is no reasoned debate to be had around stuff like "get a proper job" or "this is the problem with women reporting on football". So I stopped noticing it. I had someone go through my Twitter to try

and show that I was a lesbian and that that was why I'd written glowingly about Megan Rapinoe - because as a woman working in sport I must go around fancying everyone. Whatevs. I've had hate letters and my first thought is, it's a good job I can handle this because some people

would be cut to shreds, instead of bemoaning - as I did - that they'd sent it with a second-class stamp. There are some times when it cuts, though. If I'm not feeling terrific about myself or life in general, it's another punch that adds to that. And it depends on what's said

When you're dealing with message after message on why women shouldn't play or be involved in football, I feel frustrated, more than anything. Sometimes, it's more personal. When I was at the World Cup, someone sent me a picture of my byline photo with a message telling me

that I was so ugly that I had to be a virgin. I've had men commenting on my body and sending lewd messages, and they're the ones that upset me the most because there's a certain powerlessness you feel when men try and take ownership over your body. The term 'skin crawls' is

exactly how it feels But "they wouldn't say it in real life" is a lie. The first time I was sexually harassed at a football match, I was 19. It was Bradford v Millwall in the play-off final, and I'd gone to the toilet. I came out and eight men - from ages 20 to late 50s - circled

me and made jokes (because I had a pixie cut) that I'd used the wrong toilet. They were joking about whether I had a penis and how I'd aimed, talking about how flat-chested I was. That night, there was so much sanctimonious stuff from Bradford fans about how some of the Millwall

fans had invaded the pitch and I was thinking, but it was YOUR fans who made me feel the most unsafe that day.
I remember feeling like their words had stuck to me and I needed to clean them off. I've been on trains when football fans have chanted 'get your tits out for the lads'

Beyond the Internet, we're kidding ourselves if we say football is always a safe space for women. The first time I was sexually harassed outside of football, I was 11. At school. I'd said something in a lesson and the boy next to me whispered: "But do you actually have any tits?"

I felt so cold and chilled and I can remember feeling so empty walking out of that lesson. And this isn't uncommon. There is such a climate of harassment at secondary schools and the solution isn't to confront boys but to get girls to police their bodies

We had rules about skirt length, how many shirt buttons you could have undone. Skirts were then banned because they were "distracting to male pupils and teachers". We are taught that girls must shrink to fit into the world and stay safe. That boys can't control themselves

Everything is explained away as "that's what teenage boys are like". They are protected from consequence. When that is the climate in which we're raising teenage boys, can we be surprised when they grow up to be so intolerant of women sharing any space?

That they go online and can abuse without consequence, just as they have done all their lives? It would be great if social media platforms did more. So much is dangerous. But you're only tackling one corner of the problem if you don't look at how this extends to real life too

That would have worked way better as a note alas

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