So I put on The Wrong Trousers last night as some comfort watching after a long day and yes it's great but holy shit Wallace is DREADFUL. Here's what he does to that poor dog Gromit (thread)

1.) Wallace expects to be waited on hand and foot. There's a cursory line of dialogue about how "it's your turn to make breakfast this morning, Gromit". But we never see Wallace lift a fucking finger. This even tho he appears to have automated most of his life

2.) For Gromit's birthday, the presents Wallace gets him are: a.) A collar and LEAD and b.) AUTOMATED LEGS TO WALK GROMIT SO WALLACE DOESN'T HAVE TO. So the one thing he might contribute to their relationship, he has automated. (AND HE COMPLAINS ABOUT THE COST!!!!)

3.) Wallace uses the extortionate cost of taking the joy out of his dog's life to justify getting a lodger. While Wallace is not to know he's accidentally introduced notorious thief Feathers McGraw into their household, he is astonishingly blasé to everything the penguin does

4.) When the silent, creepy penguin just WALKS INTO Gromit's room (which has a literal sign on the door, just in case we're not sure), Wallace awkwardly says "uh, please don't do that" and then gives up. Pathetic. Penguin takes Gromit's room. Gromit is stuck in the crappy spare

5.) Penguin plays music all night. Gromit is stuck in the literal doghouse. Wallace doesn't notice. Later Wallace and Penguin are DRINKING WINE together. Given Penguin doesn't speak one can only assume Wallace is doing the lions's share of the conversation

6.) When Wallace is put in the Techno Trousers and marched around town, all he can do is whine about how he could never have seen this coming and for Gromit to save him. Gromit should watch the world burn. He doesn't, for Gromit is a Saint

7.) When Feathers is back at the house, post-robbery, Gromit is there with a rolling pin. Feathers draws a gun, which is fucking hilarious, and both Gromit and Wallace are pushed into a wardrobe. Wallace complains about the wood being damaged, because of course he does

8.) Gromit repairs the malfunctioning Techno Trousers, then we're treated to a delightful romp around the house on Wallace's toy train set. Love this bit. No notes, other than Wallace is entirely useless although he does take Feathers' gun after every bullet has been fired

9.) Gromit does everything, saves the day, and then, crime of crimes, Wallace slides up into Gromit's arms and says "We did it!". Did 'we' do it, Wallace. Did we.

10.) And the ending? "I fancy some cheese Gromit, what do you say? Cheddar?" Gromit goes and fetches it. "Don't forget the crackers!" He calls after. Final shot: Wallace eating cheese, Gromit reading the paper. GROMIT DIDN'T EVEN GET HIS OWN CHEESE.

DUMP. HIS. ASS. GROMIT.

Anyway 10/10 I loved it can't wait to rewatch A Close Shave