I sometimes think that a lot of people see the change from victim to survivor as some kind of point of overcoming of the trauma, that point where what happened doesn't effect you anymore, you've not only healed, but come out tougher and better than even before it...

1/-

And I just dont see that as a realistic expectation in a lot of cases.

A lot of the time you never completely get over the trauma, the damages, the little triggers.

I see being a survivor as being the point where you stop letting yourself live as a victim.

2/-

You take responsibility for yourself, you stop seeing the triggers, the emotions, the damage, as something that you cannot control in any way.

Just because you cannot completely negate it all, does not mean you cannot learn to work with what is left.

3/-

Sometimes that does mean learning to rework your life to avoid situations you just cannot handle.

Sometimes that means there are things you can never do again, places you cannot let yourself go to.

But those don't have to be the focus.

4/-

The shift is when you work on minimizing the impact of these losses, so that you can begin to focus on the life beyond, what you CAN create for yourself

A shift from pain focus to future focus. No longer focusing on what you cannot change, and prioritization of what you can

5/-

It's you getting back in the saddle of the life that now has broken bones and weird twitches, and learning how to work with that to move forward again.

Just because you can't control or fix everything, doesn't mean you cannot improve SOMETHING, and now you know that.