A true story:
At the time of the 1984 Olympic games in Sarajevo, I was serving in the Yugoslav People's fucking Army in deep Macedonia. Before the snow storm arrived in time the opening in Sarajevo, it passed through Macedonia--it was the worst one in memory.

The week of the opening my unit was involved in military exercises outside Štip, where I was serving as a truck drive. The truck was older than me, and I was 19. My commanding officer (Vidoje Milošević) had decided that our unit should bunk up in trenches at the bottom of a hill.

The rain and snow flowed down the hill into the trenches. He had a bright idea and issued an order for us to dig a fireplace in each trench, and then a hole that was to be made into a chimney with the use of large cans with their bottoms and tops removed. He was a moron.

So that we slept half in a puddle of mud, half in smoke from the fireplace. I had never and would never be so cold in my life. Then an order came from above that we had to watch the opening of the Olympics.

Captain Milošević had a bright idea that our unit should carve out an amphitheater in the side of the hill. The soldiers dug rows of seats with shovels in the mud as the rain and snow ran down.

Then when it was time to watch the opening of the Olympics, a small black-and-white TV was hooked to a truck battery and soldiers sat in the mud seats and tried to make out the ceremony at the bottom of the hill, sliding down as they were tired, and the hill was a pile of mud.

Every soldier was there, except for me. Captain Milošević knew I was for Sarajevo and made sure that I had something else to do, so I was the only one who was not watching.the opening. The everything got even worse for me, but that's a different story.