WRT LRT:

I also want to mention that someone being "rude" usually doesn't come without merit/warrant. As in the case of marginalized folx who have to deal with unmitigated bullshit every day because their lives are constantly called in to question:

They don't owe you 'polite.'

If you think they owe you 'polite,' you're a tone-policing shit bag.

Holding *you* responsible for what you say and what you do isn't rude.

Being upset that you were out of line and reacted in accordance to your actions isn't rude.

For instance, I'll use the interaction I had a couple weeks ago at my day job to illustrate my point.

We are in the middle of a pandemic. I have my own office space now, as my spouse is high-risk for COVID. My job requires me to be in the office every day, if possible.

We were also closing the end of the year, which meant I had a deadline of Jan. 31 to get stuff into our system & to get it out or else the IRS charges my job a lot of money. My department is *also* understaffed & I had to do the bulk of inputting of complicated stuff.

My desk faces the door to my office. There's a giant window, where I can see the mail machine & the front door to our building. Everyone walking to the Admin Assistant's desk can see me, & I them, so I normally wave on someone's first pass by me.

Per the rule in place by my big big boss, we are to wear our masks at all times, except when we are eating or drinking. Failure to comply means we lose our jobs. I've been acutely aware of how my colleagues have treated the precautions at my job.

This is will be relevant later.

My colleague, who works in a different department & holds a similar title to my boss, walked by - which, I had presumed, to give our Admin Assistant a purchase order. We made eye contact, so I waved. I've been aware that this colleague has also pushed the "wear a mask" envelope.

I'm always slightly stressed out when he enters the building. He usually doesn't stay for long, so while I was aware of his presence, I didn't let it worry me too much because of the already wild amount of stress I was under. You see, on this particular day, I'd come into work

thinking that I was much, much closer to being done when, upon my arrival to work, a folder with nearly 45 items magically appeared. So, as you can imagine, I was p. stressed tf out because of that.

I was also very hungry & spent *a lot* of January working through my breaks.

He disappears from my field of view, & I took off my mask to eat some food. The colleague walks back into my field of view, sees that I have my mask off (I was in between bites, so I wasn't actively chewing), makes direct eye contact with me, & PROCEEDED TO WALK INTO MY OFFICE.

This colleague is more than 6 feet away from me & is masked, but I had to hastily turn in my chair to face away from him, hold my breath in a panic, and re-mask.

Upon turning around, I raised my voice and said, "CAN YOU WAIT UNTIL I AT LEAST PUT ON MY MASK?!"

He held up his hands, then proceeded to say to me, "I only came by to bring you candy. That's it."

And then he left the room, & subsequently, the building.

I sent an email to my boss about the situation, because I had a feeling I was going to get an email for raising my voice.

I didn't swear. I didn't throw my mouse or stapler at someone who, in a deadly & unmitigated pandemic in the U.S. - who knows our job will fire people for not following our safety protocols - entered my space without my consent or me temporarily out of accordance with guidelines.

So, I emailed my boss. I'm glad I did, because he also then had some nerve to give me a non-apology about how he didn't wait until I was masked to enter, but he sure didn't appreciate the way I spoke to him.

THE WAY I SPOKE TO HIM. THE WAY I SPOKE TO HIM FOR ENTERING MY SPACE.

My position is hourly. His is salaried. You want to know what went through my head when he walked into my office and I wasn't wearing my mask? WHAT MY BIG BIG BOSS WOULD HAVE THOUGHT, AND WHO WOULD HAVE BEEN LOSING THEIR JOB. THAT'S WHAT.

Because you know who would have been on the chopping block? It could have been very much ME, and not HIM.

In another universe united by string theory, there is a me who got fired over this interaction. I very well *COULD* have been fired for this interaction.

For calling him out for

1. entering my space without my consent
2. getting justifiably upset that he, in spite of the safety procedures, continues to fuck around & see how far he can push the envelope.

But sure, I'm "rude" for raising my voice to a man who had the audacity.

CW: violation of consent, sexual assault

Not to mention this fucking interaction could have been a lot more triggering to me than it was, as a survivor of sexual assault and someone who's had their consent violated multiple times.

BUT SURE YEAH, I WAS 'RUDE.'

Feel free to RT any/all of this thread, because it's important that people understand that if your actions are harmful and people are justifiably hurt by your actions, they're well within their rights to be as angry as they want to be at you for the hurt you've caused them.