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Since my recent tweets about parental leave, I’ve received DMs from many lawyers re: inequities they faced before/during/after leave. Many don’t want to share publicly for fear of retribution. My DMs are open. I’ll share anonymously w/ permission, or just be a safe space to vent
Anonymous submission: jr associate told that the reason women often “behind” re: partnership trajectory by more than just the time they are off on leave is bc they come back “less focused on work”, still in “mommy mode”
Anonymous submission: male lawyer openly mocked among colleagues while on pat leave - referred to as “Mr. Mom”, “daddy daycare”
Anonymous submission: both before & after mat leave, male colleagues of same vintage paid more, given bigger & better cases, assignments, & opportunities. Women repeatedly told they need to “profile build” to make partner, despite billing top hours, holding leadership roles (1/2)
(2/2) which were maintained while on leave, etc. Firm leadership (predominantly male) capitalizes on the imposter syndrome women already feel so acutely.
Another anonymous submission: this person returned from mat leave, worked her butt off for a year, and should have been up for partner. Instead she was “advised” to delay until her numbers were higher. (1/2)
(2/2) She was getting the work done, but the expectation for ramp up was untenable. She saw very few people around her doing it successfully while caring for children. She left private practice.
Anonymous submission: firm has a policy aimed at accounting for missing hours while on leave, as leave is not supposed to impact comp or advancement. But women are routinely told that leave impacts their ability to foster client relationships, & that’s why they are not advancing.
Anonymous submission: returned from 2nd mat leave having been removed from all of her files. Asked for one particular one back; was denied and called “ungrateful”
Anonymous submission: Sr male associate announces intention to take 3month parental leave after birth of child. Is told effectively “you can take leave, or you can have a shot at making partner.” He didn’t take leave and calls it “one of the greatest regrets of [his] adult life.”
Anon submission: took 1yr mat leaves x2 kids. Each time she was put behind 2yrs of raises: 1 for the yr of leave & 1 for the “ramp up/down.” Billable rate still increased each yr; firm was not pleased when asked whether they considered that cheating her or cheating the clients.
Anon submission: 2 lawyer couple wanted to split 12 months of leave 6/6. Man was asked by his firm “why” he wanted to take a leave. His leave was ultimately approved, but he was laid off before he took it.
Anon submission: this lawyer and her friends decided the best strategy was to have kids/take leaves while at one firm, & then switch firms later; new firm can’t ask about leaves, & they stood a better shot of being restored to pay grid based on their yr of call.
