A very brief #2021Thread on compelled pronouns, and why I prefer not to take part in "pronoun circles" to start meetings, nor to include them in my email signature.

Pronoun circles waste time.

Not every meeting (especially online) requires a check-in, and poorly run check-ins waste time. From curiosity, I began timing such things, and at twenty seconds per person, my last meeting spent almost 15% of our total meeting time on this ritual.

Pronoun circles increase anxiety.

Demanding personal information is rarely kind, and especially for younger people or those who are questioning their sexuality or other gender issues. Forcing ambivalent people to constantly "choose a team" is unnecessarily invasive, and cruel.

Pronoun circles are invasive and unprofessional.

Sex, religion, race, medical condition, immigration or marital status are rarely important in a professional setting, and it may even be illegal to ask about such things.

Everyone deserves dignity, regardless of pronouns.

Pronoun circles put target groups in the crosshairs.

Many demographics are targeted for discrimination, including women, GLB people, transgender people or transexuals. By constantly forcing them to "identify" that target status, it is emphasized in ways often uncomfortable.

Pronoun circles elevate gender identity above other concerns.

There are many things about each person that may be important or deserving of attention, but constantly focusing on pronouns ignores many of those or marks them as "lesser," relatively unimportant or even irrelevant.

Pronoun circles promote a particular ideology.

Not everyone has a "gender identity," and forcing them to declare one forces them to lie about a personal belief. Would you ask everyone to state their religion or sexual preference? Those who reject labels are forced to choose one.

Pronoun circles force people to lie about their perceptions.

https://fairplayforwomen.com/pronouns/ 

Humans are hardwired to notice things such as size, age, threat-level and sex. To compel someone to use language which goes against their direct perception of reality is a form of gaslighting.

When asked to "state your pronouns," what are the options other than immediate, in-group signaling of unquestioning obedience through total compliance?

When asked to state your pronouns, one option is to simply gloss over the demand by introducing oneself but leaving them out.

As a privileged white male I find that if I do this early, others will often feel free to leave out "their pronouns" as well, saving time and hassle.

When asked to state "your pronouns," another option is to decline and say something such as "pronouns don't matter to me," or "please use whatever pronouns you prefer or find most comfortable."

This highlights the compelled-speech element of the request.

When asked to "state pronouns," I have often said that I don't care, and that I find any demand to do so vaguely cruel and invasive. This has led to more than one follow-up call after a meeting, and begins to step into dangerous territory.

When asked to "state pronouns" I have made a sort of joke by saying that my preferred pronouns are "thou, thee and thine," or something even sillier: "Your majesty will do, or 'your highness' if you are game."

When asked to "state pronouns" I have sometimes flipped the script by offering my favorite color, ice-cream flavor or something else off-topic: "My preferred prepositions are over, under and through."

When asked to "state pronouns" I have sometimes said that I don't believe in compelled speech, but believe that my pronouns "are sex-based, like women's oppression."

When asked to "state pronouns" I have sometimes even gone so far as to say "my preferred pronouns are no and thank you," or "my preferred pronouns are fuck, you and yours."

This is obviously a fairly dangerous play.

What are some of your other "preferred pronoun plays?"

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