This is the only thread of someone live-tweeting the Super Bowl without actually watching the Super Bowl.
That version of the Star Spangled Banner was aight.

By the way: Did you know “Spangle” is the way white people used to say “Bling?”
Every time they have to double a big, athletic black dude with two white dudes, I feel like they should have to give up half their salary.

Also, when it’s not used in the context of football, the word “punt” sounds very obscene.
Did you see that play Johntavius just made at cornerback?
Or safety?
Or wide receiver?

Me either, but I bet there’s somebody on the field named Johntavius.

If there isn’t, they don’t wanna win
You can follow @michaelharriot.
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