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Thinking about this a bit. Twenty five to thirty years is generally considered a new generation, not fifteen, but also—so very many of my elders (who I was lucky to meet) died.
I’m 45, I came out young, and got lucky to find people. Bears and Drag queens, mostly. https://twitter.com/9billiontigers/status/1358235679235350529
I’m 45, I came out young, and got lucky to find people. Bears and Drag queens, mostly. https://twitter.com/9billiontigers/status/1358235679235350529
But I think, in all seriousness, this goes back to the same problem I’m always talking about with queer culture: there’s no inherent inheritance.
The vast majority of us don’t have queer parents and queer grandparents. We’re alone.
The vast majority of us don’t have queer parents and queer grandparents. We’re alone.
So, when we’re young, the lack of discourse around queerness puts us immediately at the disadvantage: we don’t even know what we don’t know.
(Remember what it was like to first find that label that was you?)
(Remember what it was like to first find that label that was you?)
Our generational divides are even more fractured right now because those ahead of me had spaces they gathered in. Bars, bookstores, organizations.
The newer generation? They might read about a few places that existed, once they come out, get safe, and get curious.
The newer generation? They might read about a few places that existed, once they come out, get safe, and get curious.
Online is an amazing queer space; don’t get me wrong. But I’ve existed in both. I enjoy both. (But those bars and organizations? I miss them.)
Anyway. This is why I’m always talking about how we need to mainstream queer history.
Anyway. This is why I’m always talking about how we need to mainstream queer history.
We do exist in every generation. But our families are not likely to be queer, so what they teach us isn’t queer.
We stumble about until we find things.
And it’s really, really easy to be a frustrated, angry older queer person, too. No denying we can suck at reaching out.
We stumble about until we find things.
And it’s really, really easy to be a frustrated, angry older queer person, too. No denying we can suck at reaching out.
And, obviously, a huge swath of us are just gone.
Anyway. I see it in author circles all the time. “I wish there were queer YA books when I was a teen,” says the thirty year old. In 1990 those books existed, but they weren’t common or easy to find, and you didn’t know to go looking.
We don’t inherit our history or culture. We have to find it. And honestly, coming out is so fraught that “learning about the people who came before me” absolutely drops far, far down the list.
Survival first. I didn’t learn very much until I had a roof.
Survival first. I didn’t learn very much until I had a roof.
There’s so much more, too—about how exhausting it is to grow older as a queer person, and how I see so many elder queers run out of steam.
I think of trans elders who are so often below the poverty line, especially. Being visible teachers to new generations doesn’t feed you.
I think of trans elders who are so often below the poverty line, especially. Being visible teachers to new generations doesn’t feed you.
And the speed of change. I mean, in liberal city areas at least, I see GSAs in middle schools. My forty-five year old self is astounded!
That’s a huge, huge gulf in experience and starting positions and frame of reference.
The same exists in language, labels, etc.
That’s a huge, huge gulf in experience and starting positions and frame of reference.
The same exists in language, labels, etc.
Like, the queerlings I got to speak with when writing Exit Plans? Their GSAs knew concepts and language I didn’t bump into until I was in my twenties and thirties.
But local queer history? They didn’t know that at all. Of course they didn’t.
But local queer history? They didn’t know that at all. Of course they didn’t.
So that “fifteen years is an elder” thing? I mean...
I can see it.
I guess all I can suggest is we all try to remember how the system is stacked against us learning about each other. Being patient in both directions.
I can see it.
I guess all I can suggest is we all try to remember how the system is stacked against us learning about each other. Being patient in both directions.
