Instead of focusing on Genderfck, I'm thinking about the type of people that are vulnerable to the predatory manipulation they're using, why that manipulation works on them, and what things we can do to support them and guide them away from harm and into real community.

"Real community" is already warped for them - they HAVE a community of other people duped by this sickly sweet predator. I'm sure it works for them, too! The sick thing is they already have what is being sold to them, but this person is saying "you wouldn't have this without me"

They're getting something from this person/group that they haven't found elsewhere - support, positivity, freedom from confrontation. That's whats being promoted - endless positivity with no hint of challenging, scary interaction. And theres a lot of trans people vulnerable to it

A local support group did a survey that found the main thing BY FAR that prevented people physically coming to meetings was "anxiety". And online trans interation has a lot more confrontation, infighting, misunderstandings, conflicting trauma responses, etc than in person.

Remember when you finally figured out you were trans, were scared and alone and started trying to find people like you online... and found all that infighting, discourse, policing, lateral violence, stereotyping, gatekeeping, internalised transphobia, dismissive attitudes, ...

You're excited about your newfound self-discovery but when you express it you might get "haha wow we knew already, total egg!" / "you can't call yourself that" / "unless you do x you're not x" / "thats a slur" / "you're not x, you're x" / "*terminology you've never heard of*"

Imagine you're in that headspace, feeling monumentally let down by the promise of Trans Community, wondering if you even want to be around other trans people at all...

...Then someone appears saying "Wow! I think you're magic! This IS super scary! I'll be your support/friend!"

And they do, in many ways, support you. They have more knowledge/experience being trans than you, they say they're a therapist and indeed have clients, they don't seem any different to other trans people trying to create supportive spaces, they share helpful advice/etc

Unless you know what you're looking for and what it looks like AND the thought "is this person harmful" (why would you?), its really difficult to find any red flags here. How could you find anything negative, when its all positive? I mean, they do keep repeating they support me.

"I've felt very supported. I feel more confident in myself and my identity because of things they've said. I've progressed in my transition, and can't imagine how I would have done that without their help. This is My Community. No one else has supported me this much."

Support that is focused on one person giving the support to a group in this way is going to appear very similar to a cult of personality. And you can see how this vulnerable population is primed to follow that cult, how easy it is to fall into, and how difficult it is to notice.

Extra things that may make trans people vulnerable; family/society dismissing their reality, C/PTSD, ASD/ADHD, physical/s**ual violence, all marginalisations and their intersections, etc! Can lead to rejection sensitivity, susceptibility to gaslighting/believing at face value etc

There's already huge pushback to this person and their scam, but that doesn't solve the root cause of why people are drawn to it. We have to improve ourselves to build community to make sure people don't bounce off it to begin with, and find support where they need it first try.

Its difficult, and CANNOT be confused with further gatekeeping, racist tone-policing, etc. We're a community of MANY conflicting traumas, that rarely get to properly express ourselves letalone our emotions of anger, frustration, exasperation. That way lies MORE toxic positivity.

In no way is this list exhaustive - and you shouldn't use my opinion as your only guide.

1. Believe each other's experience. Our lives are complex, nuanced, and do not cancel each other out. We have needs that APPEAR to conflict, but only when seen through a cisnormative binary.

2. ACAB means we don't police each other. Is your knee-jerk reaction to defend your/other identities before considering how a description can be expansive, and everyone knows themselves best? Do you enjoy putting someone in their place/dunking on? Can you discuss it instead?

3. Do you have your own rejection sensitivity or other things keeping you from engaging when someone says you're wrong? Can you consider their POV even if you're certain you're right? Do you need to respond at all? Do you need to ruminate on what they said, or can you accept it?

4. Is there a marginalisation you haven't listened to? Do you only listen to one part of that community? Is there something you say/feel/know is fine, that someone has expressed pain from? Is it worth continuing to feel like you're right if it hurts someone?

5. Is this list causing you anxiety? Are you very worried about doing things Correctly and Not Doing Wrong? You are not Good Or Bad + our community is vulnerable to toxic cancel culture! You may want to look up: reparenting, anxiety, workability, self-indifference, rumination...

6. Empathy is a skill that can be used to further your understanding of someone's inner world, not only for people you already like. It can help you see systems you don't encounter, understand what is making someone act harmfully, deescalate/support someone "difficult" to help

7. Read 'Are Prisons Obsolete?' by Angela Davis - its not just about prisons, but the way we lazily ostracise "difficult" people from our community instead of accepting that this is a person in our community with needs not being met. Its easy non-academic words, free online.

8. Everyone has limitations, whether on time, energy, ability etc. Most are invisible. Do you assume someone is lazy or not trying? Do you say "look it up"? Have you considered their age/experience/marginalisations are different to yours, and they're currently trying their best?

9. Overwhelmed with all the issues that need fixing, and is this stopping you from doing anything at all? Pinpoint one thing, however small, you CAN do. I once swept floors while other volunteers were trying to Make The Most Impact - don't centre yourself. Do unflattering tasks.

10. Is there a part of the community that makes you cringe/ashamed? Why is that? Is it that you don't want to be associated with them? Why? Could it be internalised transphobia/ableism/ageism? Do you feel People Like You better represent The Community? You may have internal shame

11. Does this potentially confrontational discussion need to happen publicly? DMing can help mutual understanding, without a randomised audience that takes sides/muddies the water/escalates. Don't assume you're correct before DMing. Be respectful. You may be the one in the wrong.

12. Do you put individuals on pedestals, or worship social celebrity? This can concentrate The Community into One Correct POV, even when the popular person doesn't mean to. They're literally just one person, like all of us, and the least-known often have the most important view

13. Have you fallen into injokes and stereotypes that alienate people new to community? What terms do they use for themselves? What can you say that encourages them to explore identity instead of pushing them into an established stereotype? They're bringing a new valuable POV.

14. Are you invested in trans culture that restricts, rather than expands our collective experience? When did you learn that, and from where? Is it still relevant? Do people younger feel the same? Is it important history? Has our understanding of that history been updated?

15. Do you respond with sarcasm a lot? Did you know that may be a sign of trauma, particularly not being listened to or able to assert yourself when younger? It might not be that, but if you're ALWAYS using sarcasm/dunking/hating neutral 'tenderqueers'... Whats going on there?

16. Do you hate the 'tenderqueers' that aren't actually doing harm, just obsessively soft/gentle? Have you considered that's a response to toxic cancel culture, anxiety coping mechanism, trauma response, fear of being associated with toxic masculinity because they experienced it?

17. If someone has a personality you can't stand, or is "annoying" - its usually anxiety. You don't have to like everyone. But if they had someone self-assured reassuring them and building confidence, you might see those "annoying" traits melt away to reveal the person beneath