Just gonna start listing some reasons that reorienting discussions about patriarchal oppression to be about how all men are incompetent ugly bastards and dating or being attracted to them is unfortunate/stupid is Not Great Actually. https://twitter.com/hattedhedgehog/status/1358197312393261056

1. Implicitly victim-blames all people who love men, but especially multi-attracted women and people who “have another choice”, for their own mistreatment.

2. Forces transmascs to choose between their gender and being seen as good, lovable, worthy people.

3. Forces trans men to either let people see them as “different from Real Men” OR acknowledge the complexity of the transmasculine relationship to patriarchy and misogyny, never both.

4. Intersects with racism to transform men of color into misogynistic monsters. White women framing men of color as boorish ugly potential rapists will *never be progressive*, actually. :V wow

5. Contributes to stigma against multi-attracted women and their taintedness by association with men. Implying that m-spec people are dirty by association for their relationships with men is, shockingly, homophobic and multiphobic.

6. Is *awful* for the self esteem of transmasc folks, who *simply don’t have access* to the ego-stroking available to cis/het men, and instead spend much of their time in queer communities where they are exposed to constant ridicule for the dirty ugliness of masculinity.

7. It says to trans women, transfeminine and non-binary AMAB folks that we accept binary trans women who follow all the rules we’ve made for angelic womxn, but if you’re not that, you are on a sliding scale back to total man-garbage, and we’ll judge your gender by your manners.

8. As trans people point out CONSTANTLY, expectations that woman=nice and man=gross/bad means that our genders get judged and assessed every time our character is in question. WATCH nbi folks get called “he” when being accused of bad behavior. WATCH transfems get “she” revoked.

9. It’s straight up T3/rfy bioessentialism to speak as though manhood is, itself, disgusting and irredeemable. What on god’s green earth are we advocating for if it isn’t for men to Not Be Bastards??

10. ****It lets women off the hook**** for toxic, hostile, selfish, abusive behavior. It makes women abusers so much harder to hold accountable for their actions. It hands them tools for gaslighting and coopting social justice language to manipulate with.

11. It ENABLES the white supremacist myth of feminine purity and fragility. It ENABLES the “woman as fragile victim to protect” bioessentialist racist paradigm that disproportionately demonizes men of color, trans women, and all queers as predators.

Conclusion: Your fetishism of women as ethereal angelic beings of light and men as ugly nasty unlovable brutes is transphobic, racist, misogynistic and homophobic. IT IS POSSIBLE to talk about patriarchal oppression, male privilege, and personal suffering at the hands of men —

— without referencing a bioessentialist binary paradigm where men are all disgusting animals and women are all beautiful sexy nurturing harmless lilies.

Because I can’t shut up: I know it FEELS LIKE “men are trash and I have a right to say it” is a total feminist given that I’m denying. I’m asking you to consider that *centering your vision of gender and orientation* on this statement harms almost everyone you care about helping.

Oh my god I straight up forgot to say how fucking homophobic it is. Like queer men aren’t heaped with enough shame for their attraction to men.