someone much smarter than me just explained the Primal Scream problem is that no one really wants to say the truth:

"Eventually it is going to come out that the reason women keep doing care work is the very real threat of violence."

"I mean will the violence be someone smacking them? No. It could mean the kid’s diaper not getting changed and the kid develops a rash or a UTI."

"If mothers don’t do this work for their kids, they will suffer irreparable damage. And when she is finally able to get a divorce, the incredible neglect the kid suffered will be her fault."

"The ‘choice’ mothers are making is looking at their children and seeing the harm and suffering those completely vulnerable people are experiencing and knowing that the buck stops with them."

And lots of men who think they're not like this have actually just never had to find out, because their wives and partners never let it get that far.

anyway i guess i should write that book proposal