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it’s been a few days, i’d like to unpack the malcom and marie film about abuse. it was hard to watch. if you are a victim of abuse, a woman, a recovering addict or have abandonment issues i can imagine this movie hitting a very soft spot for you.
the actors & cinematographer really did their thing. the delivery & presentation was insane. i tuned into this film in support of zendaya & because it was marketed as a film about love, in my opinion it is absolutely not about love in any capacity.
malcom, her man of however many years neglected to thank her during his thank you speech for his film he just released that was based on her life. it was a movie about a 20 year old recovering drug addict which is exactly what marie was when she met malcom.
marie tells malcom it was fucked up to forget her, when she is a huge reason as to why the film was a success. he rejects this & calls her crazy for feeling this offended. he brings up how she accepted his apology at the premiere & it’s “insane” of her to change her mind.
he frequently takes jabs at her mental health throughout the whole film. marie is consistently gaslit throughout the whole film. it’s very clear to the audience that malcom values his ego & inability to be wrong over marie every conversation they have.
the first major argument features him aggressively eating mac and cheese and degrading her from across the house. she brings up how misogynistic & barbaric that is but a short period she has him admit that he couldn’t do such a great job on the film without her, she embraces him.
arguments, failure to admit when one is wrong and yelling is normal in a relationship... but the name calling is what set me off. that was what crossed a line for me as a viewer. if you’re able to verbally degrade someone like that & invalidate their feelings then?
in another argument of theirs, he makes a great point about how she can be too prideful and should work harder in such a competitive field... but only after he brought up her drug problem that he believes he saved her from & throws her suicide attempt in her face.
his reactions were over the top & w constant reminder to her that she owes him or that she is indebted to him in some way because of “all that he did for her”. she accuses him of only being with her for a story, which makes perfect sense considering he treats her like an object.
when she’s in the bathtub, he goes out of his way to prove to her that she has an increased sense of self-importance. like she should feel stupid for thinking everything is about her (when the movie is in fact about her). he starts to recall his sexual interactions with his exes
in which some scenes of the movie were inspired by. it’s fine to let marie know this but the way he did it was to obviously trigger an inferiority complex in her & that was cruel.
throughout the film they both mutter “don’t be cruel” but her “cruelty” was never on the same level as his in any capacity. before the tub scene she accused him of only using her for a story & called him cruel for throwing her suicide attempt in her face...
by the time she was in the tub, he approached her & said “do you really think i’m mediocre?” to which she replied, “that’s all you got from that”. throughout the film, there are multiple occasions where it is clear this man views her as an object. a wounded bird he saved.
a wounded bird he’s caged mentally, physically & emotionally. this movie is a very realistic portrayal of abuse. the constant degradation, gaslighting and making up. only to repeat it again. it ends with her giving him a speech she wished he had gave.
listing all the things she’s done for him. he apologizes & tells her he loves her. i felt nothing obviously because i know it’s not true. i know a person like malcom doesn’t know what love is. i went into this movie expecting one thing & got another. it was heavy.
all in all, if anyone takes anything from it. i hope if any viewer of the film is currently going through abuse like this, this movie becomes the wake up call they need to get the fuck out unlike marie. unfortunately marie couldn’t save herself. you can though.
8 signs you are dealing with narcissistic abuse video
how could i forget while shes in the bathtub he says something along the lines of “she starts these arguments because she likes being put down & degraded. it’s even evident in the way they have sex. that’s why she takes shit to this point bc she needs to get roasted”.
that was crazy... consensual kinks vs verbally degrading someone without their consent because they want you to value them...two different things. he also threatens that he could “snap her like a twig”? another way to establish his dominance and make her feel small.
the worst part about all of this, was how he’d violate her verbally then compliment her lightly afterwards then repeat. when she expressed that he crosses lines when they argue, he proudly said “you know the gloves come off”.
if someone is literally telling you they don’t give a fuck about your feelings if y’all are arguing & that’s just how they are and nothing is off limits... that person not only lacks self control, but does not give a fuck about you.
i’m not into trauma porn and that’s what this movie felt like to me, so yeah.
