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FINDING A GIRLFRIEND FOR ADAM
In Genesis 2, 'God' supposedly makes Adam, but doesn't make a 'helpmeet' for him. Did the thought skip his Omniscient mind? How come 'God' suddenly realized that "It is not good that the man should be alone."?
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FINDING A GIRLFRIEND FOR ADAM
In Genesis 2, 'God' supposedly makes Adam, but doesn't make a 'helpmeet' for him. Did the thought skip his Omniscient mind? How come 'God' suddenly realized that "It is not good that the man should be alone."?
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Well, God finally decides to make a helpmeet for Adam. But did he make Eve immediately? Nah! What did he do? He made the beasts and the birds, and wait for this : (**Drumroll**) tried to get Adam to take one of them for "an helpmeet"!
Isn't that amazing?
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Isn't that amazing?
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'God' made the animals first and then lined them up to strut past Adam. Yep! The best way to find a chic for Adam was to arrange a beauty pageant, so the animals in all their beauty and gorgeousness would strut past Adam and try to tickle his fancy.
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Unfortunately, it seems that Adam saw nothing that struck his fancy. The fairest ape, the sexiest Chimpanzee; the loveliest Ostrich, the majestic Eagle, the royal Lionness, the most fascinating Gorilla, the bootylicious Hippo,the Giraffe with sexy, long legs...
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...and ofcourse , the subtle Serpent - they all failed to touch Adam's poor, lonely heart not to talk of arousing his already designed penis.
Renowned Bible Commentators have attested to the fact that the reason behind the pageantry was the operation #FindGirlfriendForAdam.
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Renowned Bible Commentators have attested to the fact that the reason behind the pageantry was the operation #FindGirlfriendForAdam.
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Dr. Adam Clarke said: "God caused the animals to pass before Adam to show him that no creature yet formed could make him a suitable companion; that Adam was convinced that none of these animals."
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Dr Thomas Scott also says that after "...this review of the animals, not one was found in outward form his counterpart, nor one suited to engage his affections..."
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Dr Matthew Henry: "God brought all the animals together to see if there was a suitable match for Adam in any of the numerous families of the inferior creatures, but there was none.They were all looked over, but Adam could not be matched among them all"
Wonderful scholars!
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Wonderful scholars!
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Back to our story. Seeing he had failed woefully in his attempt at matchmaking Adam, the Almighty and Omniscient God pathetically cried out: "..but for Adam there was not found an helpmeet for him". Awww! Heartbreaking! 
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Not to worry though! Yahweh always has a solution. Was he going to create this girlfriend out of the same 'nothing' from which he made the universe? Or was he going to form her from the same dust Adam was made? Nah! Let's do something else. Stories have to be exciting
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So he made Adam fall into a deep sleep, surgically removed one of his ribs & miraculously stitched up his skin.
Angel Gabby hollers: "Yo Yahweh! What the heck? Why go through such a dangerous procedure? Why didn't you simply say "Rib appear" or "Let there be Girlfriend"?
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Angel Gabby hollers: "Yo Yahweh! What the heck? Why go through such a dangerous procedure? Why didn't you simply say "Rib appear" or "Let there be Girlfriend"?
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Yahweh turns around and gives Angel Gabriel 'the look'. He disappears. 'God' goes ahead to miraculously make a woman from the single rib, and brought her to Adam. Adam finally had a girlfriend made from his ribs. Immediately God presented her to him, Adam fell in love.
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After a mini wedding ceremony, they lived happily ever after in the Garden of Eden - at least until the serpent who was one of spurned animals got jealous. I guess hell really has no fury like that of a serpent scorned.
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