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Jeremy Corbyn is in the pub having a quiet drink with his wife.
Tracy-Ann Oberman takes pictures of him, plasters them all over Twitter and accuses him of 'following her'. https://twitter.com/TheMendozaWoman/status/1358068012973195264
Tracy-Ann Oberman takes pictures of him, plasters them all over Twitter and accuses him of 'following her'. https://twitter.com/TheMendozaWoman/status/1358068012973195264
With the money he received from working with antisemite extraordinaire, Mel Gibson, Eddie Marsan buys a drink, then tells the whole pub a story he just made up.
Rachel Riley, unhappy the attention isn't on her, interrupts and yells at everyone:
"DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"
Rachel Riley, unhappy the attention isn't on her, interrupts and yells at everyone:
"DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"
Rather less than riveted by the three amigos' presence, the pubgoers all leave.
Riley, Oberman and Mansan accuse all those leaving of 'antisemitism' and threaten to sue them and the pub owner. Just because.
Riley, Oberman and Mansan accuse all those leaving of 'antisemitism' and threaten to sue them and the pub owner. Just because.
On hearing this, the world's most unfunny comedian, David Baddiel, announces he'll sue all those who've never laughed at his crap jokes for 'antisemitism' as well.
The media hails these developments and congratulates these four brave, heroic campaigners for truth and justice.
The media hails these developments and congratulates these four brave, heroic campaigners for truth and justice.
Baddiel makes his announcement in a TV studio, where he's blacked up for the occasion.
He announces he will tour Britain's schools to educate its pupils that anything too critical of white supremacist Winston Churchill is clearly 'antisemitic'. https://twitter.com/Baddiel/status/1090562377362403328
He announces he will tour Britain's schools to educate its pupils that anything too critical of white supremacist Winston Churchill is clearly 'antisemitic'. https://twitter.com/Baddiel/status/1090562377362403328
On his first day, Baddiel is appalled when a German pupil refers to someone's name with a German pronunciation. This, explains our Dave, is clearly 'antisemitic' and should terrify us all.
Oberman, meanwhile, has drunk the pub dry. She goes home to send 60 tweets to a complete random. When her friends ask her to stop, she accuses them of antisemitism and says she'll sue all of them.
The following day, she goes to Corbyn's surgery, where he is meeting constituents
The following day, she goes to Corbyn's surgery, where he is meeting constituents
She barges past all of them reminding them of who she is and that she's VERY important... then takes photos of the surgery, plasters them all over Twitter and accuses Corbyn of following her again.
It is, wails Tracy, "just like 1938".
Unlike Oberman, Riley has important work to do. She jogs into the TV studios wearing her 'Corbyn is a racist endeavour' T-shirt.
In the studio, the host tells an antisemitic joke. She shrugs and says nothing. She's happy to keep working with him.
In the studio, the host tells an antisemitic joke. She shrugs and says nothing. She's happy to keep working with him.
During a break, she gets chatting to a blonde audience member. The subject of her faith comes up.
"I didn't know you were Jewish", says the audience member.
"I don't look like a typical Jew", explains Riley. "Anyway, got to go. Nice being Aryan with you".
"I didn't know you were Jewish", says the audience member.
"I don't look like a typical Jew", explains Riley. "Anyway, got to go. Nice being Aryan with you".
Then - after performing her daily routine backstage of expressing her relief that awful Corbyn didn't get in - thankyou Britain! - it's back to work,
"Consonant please Rachel. Vowel. Another vowel..."
"Consonant please Rachel. Vowel. Another vowel..."
