some days i think about the fact that both my mother and strangers on the internet have come to the conclusion that-- as a (poor) sex worker-- i am undeserving of love

as valentines day approaches I've been thinking about the fact that a lot of cishet women need it to be that way. they need whores to be unlovable. they need (our) men, any man who engages us, to be weirdos. "you can't turn a ho into a housewife"-- they need it to be true.

i think about the fact that we often see other women as "safe," and how being a whore can suddenly exclude you from womanhood/feminity. or your femininity is suddenly "toxic." you took your womanhood and turned it against other women, you are no longer "one of us."

bisexuals are another kind of whore, another flavor of deviant figure. and my mother clocked me herself, very young. everything i did was sexualized. "dressing like a boy" was threatening and gave cause for harm. I'm not to be protected. I'm not to be trusted.

one day none of this will mean anything at all. every day y'all show me that none of the above is true. many of the whores i know have found love in one way or another. we are finding each other. and we are worthy of love. and fuck anyone who claims otherwise.