Lately, I've had a some mom friends congratulate me on 1)writing a book 2)while at the NYT 3)with small children 4)during a pandemic. The tone was always, "Wow, you must be superhuman." And my answer was always, "Nope, I just cried a lot and neglected other things in my life."

I thought about this today when I was reading the Primal Scream package put together by my colleagues. (THIS IS A MUST READ) https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/04/parenting/working-moms-mental-health-coronavirus.html?smtyp=cur&smid=tw-nytimes#commentsContainer

And I was thinking how from the outside, it looks like some moms are doing it all. The truth is just we are failing at something invisible which the rest of the world can't see. I neglected my health, sanity, and friendships over the last year to do nothing but work and parent.

(Not to mention rain-checking every date night and asking my husband to carry the entire load of housework/extra childcare. I am so lucky he still loves me).

Even with the help, I still cried a lot. On the days that were toughest, when there was a book deadline and a big story at the NYT (they almost always happened at the same time) my kids would magically sense something was up and wake up multiple times a night to party/pee/scream

I feel blessed to have my job, be writing a book with @ceciliakang, and to parent two delightful toddlers. But it is such a struggle, and I barely got through it.