was playing Mario Kart 64 & found out dumb kid me didn't get a few 50cc cups so i went to get 'em after playing some 100cc & 150cc

THEN

i'm driving like a madman, drifting & using mushrooms to get mad speed boosts

AND I CAN'T SHAKE THIS FUCKING TOAD

i'm driving & driving & driving & as soon as i fuck up TOAD outta nowhere

dude was on my dick & balls for 4 straight races, there to pick up whatever time i lost & every time i hit a patch of grass, slowed down a second, turned to hard, this fucking mushroom cunt bursts in front

by the 3rd & 4th race i'm YELLING at the tv.

i'm running first for almost the whole 3rd race minus a few Toad bumps, but i slip up at the worst time & him & Peach (who's on his dick & balls) sneak past in the last turn to win

there's a 4th race so i think i'm fine, start in 3rd, easily run up to first & hold it for 2 laps, solid, catching glimpses of this speedy cocksuckers head in my field of view.

then

middle of the last lap

hit a banana & fell in the water, spun out after lakitu dropped me

the whole fucking things falling apart in my hands, i drop down to 6th place & i'm screaming at the tv, man.

i take some good drifts & make up a bunch of time, now i'm in third, last stretch.

i get 3 mushrooms & i fucken need 'em, i dart into first & the finish line's up ahead

i'm cruising & cruising

&

then

there's

b a n a n a s

i hit one banana & my wins, my otherwise good driving, the drifts, the mushrooms, the almighty comeback & all my prayers don't mean shit as this cocksmoking chucklefucking mushroom zooms past me & steals all my glory.

i take 3rd, as Peach was still on his dick & balls.

all 4 races, the three of us were miles ahead of 4-8. at one point i stopped to try and figure out where toad was on my minimap cause i figured he was the next blip back & i swear to you that bastard knew i was looking & he popped past me.

i got so stressed out i got a headache

fuck toad