I very much respect her experience and am glad she came forward, but the “had they, I would not have married him” line felt a bit questionable to me. MANY people marry or stay in long relationships with abusive people. https://twitter.com/thecut/status/1357712516550393857

This happens a lot, even to naturally strong people, assertive people, intelligent people, emotionally intelligent people. Sometimes especially to those kinds of people.

The “if I had been in that situation, I would have left!” thing sounds easy until you’re actually in it. And abusers don’t abuse everybody they know, or everyone they date. Mine had a reputation as reliable, hard-working, a total sweetheart.

One of the most telling things was when he suddenly forbade me from talking to those people with whom had a good reputation. He wouldn’t even let me tweet at them.

I also once was in a relationship with somebody who I felt was kind of irresponsible with my feelings, but not abusive. Then I found out they had abused other people. That can happen.