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Can’t believe what unfolded outside my front door this week!
On Wednesday morning I woke up to a faint knocking noise. I peered through the spy hole and there, knocking on the neighbours’ door, was a short, chubby boy, about 11-12 years old, in a red hoodie and mask combo.
On Wednesday morning I woke up to a faint knocking noise. I peered through the spy hole and there, knocking on the neighbours’ door, was a short, chubby boy, about 11-12 years old, in a red hoodie and mask combo.
Eventually the door opened, my neighbour, the mother of two loud kids, looked down at the boy, confused. Had she forgotten she had a third child? Cocking her head to the side she greeted him.
“Hello?”
“Have you had a parcel for us by mistake?”
“Hello?”
“Have you had a parcel for us by mistake?”
This happens a lot in this block of flats. Even before the pandemic, the accuracy of delivery people was questionable, they’d buzz my flat - “is that number 4?”
I live at number 11, what are they using to press the button, a javelin?
I live at number 11, what are they using to press the button, a javelin?
(Judging by the state of some of the packages we receive, it’s the same method they use to handle the packages)
“We haven’t had any deliveries, sorry love”
She closed the door and I saw him sigh. He turned and looked up at my door. Took a step forward and knocked.
She closed the door and I saw him sigh. He turned and looked up at my door. Took a step forward and knocked.
“Have you had a parcel for us by mistake?”
I told him I hadn’t & he went on his way. I thought that was the end of it, but later, as I was returning from my weekly trip to the communal bins to recycle 8 tonnes of empty bottles of booze, I saw him at my neighbours door again.
I told him I hadn’t & he went on his way. I thought that was the end of it, but later, as I was returning from my weekly trip to the communal bins to recycle 8 tonnes of empty bottles of booze, I saw him at my neighbours door again.
I slunk past. Nodded at them and entered my flat. Immediately turning to shove my face up to the spy hole. “Someone in the block had our parcel yesterday”
There was an accusatory tone in the kid’s voice. He knew something. Game on.
There was an accusatory tone in the kid’s voice. He knew something. Game on.
I could only see the back of his head, but he definitely had this expression on his face.
“I told you, we haven’t had any deliveries, love” I could feel her annoyance through the door. She sounded convincing though. Would she be willing to take a polygraph?
He held up his phone, stretching so that it reached her face. “The delivery man took a picture of the parcel in the doorway and the carpet in the flat is grey.”
This kid had evidence - and he’d remembered the colour of her carpet from earlier! I looked down at my feet on blue carpet. Had he made a note of that? Had I incriminated myself for some future crime by renting a place with navy flooring?
Her eyes scanned the phone (which is way too big for him. He looked like baby Moses showing off half the commandments). She turned back to her hallway at the grey carpet. Is she busted? Does she call a lawyer?
“That must be another flat. I was in all day yesterday and nobody’s been here.” She started shutting the door, but he wasn’t done.
“Yours is the only one with grey carpet”
“Yours is the only one with grey carpet”
Hold the door!
He’s done the legwork. 12 flats, only one with grey carpet.
“It didn’t come here”.
Flat out denial. It’s still plausible it didn’t get delivered there, the carpet is circumstantial. Is he barking up the wrong tree?
“It didn’t come here”.
Flat out denial. It’s still plausible it didn’t get delivered there, the carpet is circumstantial. Is he barking up the wrong tree?
The investigation had hit a wall. Deflated he walked away.
As I put washing on the radiator today I heard the familiar faint knocking outside. It can’t be, can it? Has the kid got a warrant or something? I rushed to watch and arrived at the door just in time to see my neighbour glaring at the boy.
“What?”
“Is your son in?”
That was unexpected. She softened for a moment.
“He can’t come out, he’s doing his school work and you shouldn’t be mixing with other children. Even if you’re wearing a mask.”
That was unexpected. She softened for a moment.
“He can’t come out, he’s doing his school work and you shouldn’t be mixing with other children. Even if you’re wearing a mask.”
“I think he’s got my parcel”
...
“What?! I’ve had enough of this!”
The kid jumped a little, she noticed and lowered her voice.
“We don’t have your parcel!”
...
“Is his name Seth?”
...
“What?! I’ve had enough of this!”
The kid jumped a little, she noticed and lowered her voice.
“We don’t have your parcel!”
...
“Is his name Seth?”
“What... why?”
“There’s a drawing of a rainbow by the front...”
(I know the drawing he’s talking about. I see it every time I go out and come home. It’s an A4 piece of paper stuck to the inside of the front entrance that says “thank you NHS” & has a pretty crap picture of a rainbow above it.)
(I know the drawing he’s talking about. I see it every time I go out and come home. It’s an A4 piece of paper stuck to the inside of the front entrance that says “thank you NHS” & has a pretty crap picture of a rainbow above it.)
“Thank you NHS”
She looked visibly confused. He continued...
“Seth wrote his name on the drawing”
“Yes, he drew it. What’s that got to do with your parcel?”
...
“Seth wrote his name on the drawing”
“Yes, he drew it. What’s that got to do with your parcel?”
...
“The parcel tracker says it was received on the doorstep by Seth”
The penny dropped, so did my neighbour’s jaw. I started to laugh. I was worried they heard me,
Thankfully, nobody looked in my direction. Instead, my neighbour spun around and disappeared into her flat. I heard her bellowing.
“Seth! Come here! Have you got this boy’s parcel?!”
“Seth! Come here! Have you got this boy’s parcel?!”
She returned with her son. He’s a little blond kid, 9 yo. He looked nonplussed. “I thought it was for me”
“Go and get it now! When did it come?!”
Seth vanished. He calls out that his mother was in the shower when it came. She looked pretty furious.
“Go and get it now! When did it come?!”
Seth vanished. He calls out that his mother was in the shower when it came. She looked pretty furious.
“I’m sorry about this” she growled at the kid who’s just successfully hunted his parcel down. Seth comes to the door clutching a brown cardboard box. It was ripped open at the top, but I couldn’t see what was in it. He laid it down on the doorstep.
“Apologise to this poor boy! I’ve been telling him it didn’t come here!”
Seth looked a bit sheepish and held onto the door.
Seth looked a bit sheepish and held onto the door.
“It’s ok. Thanks”.
With the case successfully closed, the kid walked away.
With the case successfully closed, the kid walked away.
The door slammed behind my neighbours and I hear Seth’s scolding for a bit. I returned to putting clothes on the radiator, hoping I never invite the attention of that kid from the flat upstairs.
Might look into getting the carpet in the hallway changed.
