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I used to be really messy, like junky and such. I’m being open about that because I realized it was a response from trauma and abandonment issues (hoarding). To my sisters who can relate, I promise you can change. I’ll have suggestions that worked for me in this thread.
One thing I learned is that I hoard things because I feel out of control. I’m kind of a control freak so owning things sometimes felt like a control boost. Saying that I have multiples felt good. Even just buying clothes to compensate for my insecurity from feeling ugly as a kid.
I also realized that depression was a big part of it because you get so overwhelmed with the mess, and then clutter also makes you anxious. So it’s this vicious cycle and your house is just getting worse because you’re getting an overload. I had to start very small here.
Start picking up a few things a day. Even if it’s just to throw three things in the garbage. I know firsthand how debilitating depression and anxiety can be, so if you can’t? I get it. But even like on your way to the bathroom or something...try to just pick up two things.
Also, people will try to use this as a weapon against you. It’s been thrown in my face a lot, made me feel like less of a person. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I’d see other ppl’s homes and get so sad that I couldn’t figure out how to stay tidy.
One thing that helped was telling myself I deserve a clean space. I deserve to walk through my home and feel peace. My mind was a mess but I knew changing my surroundings was a small but necessary step to my mental stability. I wanted to wake up to clarity, not chaos.
I used to get mad at myself for not cleaning up everything while cooking. But I also learned to congratulate myself on having the strength to make a meal some days when I barely wanted to get out of bed. You have to celebrate the small successes. That will push you to do more.
I could HIGHKEY just make a video for this because this has been YEARS of work, and I’m still working. It’s still a process. But I’m definitely gonna keep adding to this thread because the interactions are showing me I’m not alone here. You’re not alone, baby. You’re seen here.
Another thing that I’ve noticed is making places for things also helps my anxiety and control issues. So I’m super big on shelving and those fabric drawers that are like $5. Even if you don’t organize what’s in it yet, it helps tremendously sometimes to just throw stuff in it.
If you’re like me, your bathroom gets cluttered because of all your...stuff. One thing I recommend are fabric boxes ($5 at Target) with the clear front. They help you organize and you can see what’s in them, even if it’s not neat in the box. I have two under my sink...
One is for hair stuff, one is for body and face stuff. Do I know what’s in each right now? Not really but the items are off the floor and out my face for the moment. I also have a big tub with all my hair stuff that I just throw wigs and weaves and braiding hair in.
If you don’t have money for containers, I’ve also used plastic bags in the past. I’ll usually bag things by category: my stuff, Ava’s stuff, things I need soon, things I don’t. Using different colors helps too. Even if you have a bunch of bags just sitting, that’s a start 
For my hoarders specifically, I can only speak to my kind of hoarding. I used to keep memories from all eras of life, solely for reminiscing. One thing that helped me is that I was honest with myself about those memories not being as important as I made them out to be.
So while you may be keeping those items because you may need them one day or you just want that keepsake, think of all the new memories you’ll make. Think of how much more in control you’ll feel without seeing the same stuff every day in the same spot. Take power in that control.
Anxiety will make you feel like you can’t get better, like you can’t get a handle on your life. You absolutely can. And it takes time, it takes patience with YOU. I say affirmations like “I deserve a clean space. I deserve a healthy space. I deserve an organized space.”
Do y’all just want me to make a video on organizing and cleaning tips? Maybe a series? I’ll keep adding to the thread of course but I just want to gauge how best to reach y’all.
