Read on Twitter
Feeling lucky that I have been less online and missed out on the latest sex work twitter beefs. I've also just been trying to argue less in general for my own mental health and esp. with other sex workers. I've recognized the way that my trauma responses...
...can unnecessarily escalate conflict and try to avoid doing that. Some questions I've been asking myself before diving in:
1. Who is this person to me? What have our prior interactions been? Who is this person to people I know? What is their relationship to community?
2. Does this person have a known history of repeatedly causing harm? Of escalating or creating conflict unnecessarily?
2. Does this person have a known history of repeatedly causing harm? Of escalating or creating conflict unnecessarily?
Basically, can I engage in good faith and what are the stakes of that engagement. Then:
3. How am I feeling right now? Do I need to respond right away? Do I need to take 15 minutes to calm down?
3. How am I feeling right now? Do I need to respond right away? Do I need to take 15 minutes to calm down?
And finally:
4. How can I approach this in a productive way + if it's not feeling productive, how can I de-escalate or shut it down? If I shut it down, does it need to be mediated later or should we just move on?
4. How can I approach this in a productive way + if it's not feeling productive, how can I de-escalate or shut it down? If I shut it down, does it need to be mediated later or should we just move on?
Oh, if it's happening on Twitter, I also try to consider if this person is on work Twitter, or totally anon Twitter, and how that might be influencing their responses. If we can't connect openly, the discussion may not be worth having.
Power dynamics are also worth considering! Both in terms of social clout (does this person have 10 followers and no community contact?) and in terms of axes of oppression (what privileges do I hold over them and vice versa?)
Conflict can be so necessary and generative but it can also be an ugly knee jerk reaction to unresolved trauma or a sport and I am trying...to not do that. I am trying to approach it from the perspective of community building.
Dunking on SWERFs sometimes is fine tho.
Dunking on SWERFs sometimes is fine tho.
Coming back to this after re-reading "The Characteristics of White Supremacy Culture" and considering all the intersections between trauma and white supremacy for both white people and POC and handling trauma in anti-racist ways https://www.showingupforracialjustice.org/white-supremacy-culture-characteristics.html
Personally, I know that a lot of my fear of open conflict is traumagenic in nature (because historically conflict resulted in harm and violence and abuse for me), but I also recognize that it supports white supremacy culture and so healing becomes not just a matter of...
...personal growth but community care and anti-racist praxis.
There is a lot about trauma-informed practice that is compatible with dismantling white supremacy, like an emphasis on client empowerment and agency transparency. But there are other aspects that could downplay the impacts of racism. You can't assume that every reaction...
...you don't like is a trauma response. Maybe you need to be called on your racist bullshit! But you can use trauma-informed practice to decide how you're going to handle that conflict esp, if you have your own trauma.
