I was thinking this morning about trauma. I was thinking about the after effects. The aftershocks. How you tell your mind to move on and that all is OK now but your body refuses to believe you. If you are in a particularly tender or easily triggered place, don’t read this thread.
We live on acreage that I walk with my dogs no less than two or three times a day. Before work, after work. If I work at home, we take a break at noon & also walk then. We live on these acres. No way to escape them and, truly, we don’t want to. We love it here. It’s our home.
But there is a spot I cannot avoid where, 2 years ago, our dearly loved, constantly coddled bird dog chased deer through a thicket to a neighbor’s property & was met by coyotes. It all happened in my and Melissa‘s hearing. It was terrifying. It never occurred to us it was her.
We thought she was right ahead of us on the path we always took. I would search for her all day, increasingly frantic, & would not know til late that afternoon that the people I deeply pitied for losing an animal so traumatically was us. Of course traumas get far worse than this.
I use this 1 because it’s a lesser one that can still make my point. A lot of times I can walk past that place, mind over matter, saying my scripture memory, singing, praying or just thinking about the day. Good to go. But other times I have a visceral reaction beyond my control.
I can only breathe in what feels like the top inch of my lungs. I pant really fast, my throat feels like it wants to close, I instantly get awful butterflies, the tears spring from my eyes & I press my hand over my heart. Sometimes I never do recover on that walk. If Creek even
turns her brown & white bird-dog head toward that thicket, I freak out. Keith and I have let the weeds grow waist high in the path next to the thicket. I named it The Forbidden. I tell the story because I’ve endured a lot. Much worse. I have a lot of will power. But I cannot will
myself out of this trauma. I have to heal. These last 12 months have been traumatizing globally, nationally, individually. The trauma will not end with the pandemic. We people of God must prepare for long-term mutual & community care. The aftershocks of so much death, isolation,
sickness, financial disaster, anxiety, insecurity, and pure raw fear will linger so much longer than we want it to. We will wish we and others could get it together sooner. People will need a lot of help and from a lot of sources. But there are things we Jesus people can do.
We can show people the love & compassion of God. We can walk beside one another & others on the slow road to recovery. There is much fellowship to be found there. We can ask the Lord to grant us patience. Mercy. If the church has ever needed to seek the Lord for how to minister,
it is now.
You can follow @BethMooreLPM.
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