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A positive thread.
I am HIV+.
Why? It’s complicated, but I grew up feeling ashamed of being gay. I didn’t see anyone like me on TV, at school & homophobia was rife. Even after coming out my shame was so compounded, I didn’t care if I lived, let alone if someone wore a condom.
I am HIV+.
Why? It’s complicated, but I grew up feeling ashamed of being gay. I didn’t see anyone like me on TV, at school & homophobia was rife. Even after coming out my shame was so compounded, I didn’t care if I lived, let alone if someone wore a condom.
Sometimes I drank & did drugs to escape myself - often that would lead to sex, but it wasn’t sex. It was more like a need to be punished, because what I deserved what wrong, or dark, or dirty. My mental health was in so many pieces, I didn’t want to consider my sexual health too.
When I found out I was HIV+, it wasn’t the voices of homophobes I heard in my head, but the warnings & jokes made by other gay men about those living with HIV. Once a year they’d put a quid in the AIDS charity bucket, yet still whisper to their mates, ‘careful - she’s got AIDS’.
When I was a boy, my mum taught me to never be ashamed of who you are. And that’s why I made the decision to publicly come out the ‘viral closet’ on the Dominion Theatre stage. If I director like me could catch this virus, far prettier & sexier people almost certainly could too.
My journey with HIV has taken me from the very depths of despair to becoming the happiest I’ve ever been in my life; surrounded by those without prejudice or inquisitive to learn about HIV+ people being on medication & how we can’t pass the virus on with no reduced lifespan.
Please, think before you speak about HIV/AIDS. Please think about sharing your status to normalise the stigma. And at the least, please get your free HIV test kit by visiting http://www.startswithme.org.uk . You have nothing to be ashamed of.
