The thing I find frustrating about these articles is that the single mom with a deadbeat ex is always contrasted with women married to men who are essentially deadbeats. No one ever asks the men why they're deadbeats though. I feel like that's the missing story here. https://twitter.com/michele_norris/status/1357683356465582088

I want to ask why being the breadwinner means you don't have to actually be a parent. Or how it is you can pitch in for the fun stuff, but not step up when you see your wife trying to work & manage online learning. The single mom's ex might at least get asked why he's absent

But no one ever asks the men who are making more work for their wives why they think they get to relax & ignore how hard their spouse is working. They aren't children, they know there's no laundry fairy, no grocery list writing house elf. Ask them why they're so lazy & selfish.

I promise that's the tactic that would get this conversation about equity in the home moving a lot faster. I'm technically the breadwinner right now. But we've traded off who had that role over the years & the fact that we've treated this as a team sport means we all win

I want to know why there are two men in that article mentioned by name & yet they never had to answer a straightforward "What do you do besides go to work? When do you actually parent?" Because money isn't all that matters in a marriage.

And I get it, societal norms, internalized misogyny, structural issues etc. But...we could challenge those things when we see them? Hold up the proverbial mirror and make the lack of effort visible in these glossy write ups? Just a thought.