I was on aliexpress again and I don't know why this is
it appears to be a fan to blow in the face of your VERY TINY DOG if it barks

I think maybe they mean it emits an anti-dog sound to scare off your dog?
and then they suggest you use it in your bed while you sleep with your dog

this machine cancels BUGS and RODENTS and DOGS

in this house, we stand by four things:

this one is an anti-dog Love House.

stop barking dogs with our stylish patented Ballgag Panda themed device

at least it has an LED liaht

The ultimate in anti-bark devices: A GUN

Choose your mission

this device apparently works quite well but I think they should try to make the next version a little smaller.

this one is a laser+flashlight+ultrasonic thing but it's also got a "chaser key", which I imagine you activate if you're trans and there's some person fetishing you and you need to get rid of them

anti-satyr? like, the mythological woodland creatures?

the message above that warns you that: "Do not try to tease the dog with a dog handler, as it is not surprising that the dog listens too much."

this Smart Ankle Brace helps heal your injured joints using the 4 elements: Fire, Water, Power, and the planet Saturn

fortunately they did explain what they mean. It's actually Power, heating, air pressure, and vibervation.

RUN LITTLE PUPPY! THE YELLOW ALIEN ROBOT IS COMING

They make other Smart Braces for different body parts
I have played enough RPGs to know that you get a serious power up if you wear them all at once.

C Y B E R P U N K

this Wireless Dog Fence System has an overly complicated looking control system.

Also, all dogs are wireless, unless they are an Aibo.

for some reason the suggestions on the ultrasonic dog trainer are female urinary devices and a Banana Protector.

I clicked one to see if it'd suggest something funny but all it gave me was BBQ Meat Syringes which is slightly worrying

I hope I'm not on the BDSM toys section of aliexpress, given that caption

Avoid the embarrassment that your dog's frequent barking
makes your guest dare not into house.

this device is apparently for if your dog won't keep using the phone

for some reason the suggestions on that one are denture adhesive for vampire fangs

"Prevent satyr:
When ladies comes with satyr, turn on the alarm switch and then the dog chaser will release sharp alarm up to 128db, which can effectively attract near people’s attention and stop the satyr coming."

LOOK IF I WANT TO FUCK MR. TUMNUS THAT'S MY OWN BUSINESS

STRONG EFFECT TO DRIVE THE DOG, DRIVE THE SNAKE

"Drive the snake" was my favorite hair metal album

I don't know why it has a Train setting.
can it scare off trains?
also, that's clearly a stun gun.

finally I can stop my dog's constant igging

you see the number 16.4 feet a lot

this is because it's 5 meters

do you have a problem with people punching your doors?
then you need this