CW mental health, depression

Lately I have been feeling the sad part of PTSD set in. For me, depression largely shows itself through lack of motivation. Getting out of bed is a huge struggle about 1/3 of the time, so larger tasks are practically out of the question.

Thread~

When my to-do list grows, I become less likely to get anything done. Even the thought of how much I need to accomplish can be debilitating. It starts to create a cycle, and the weight of each task gets heavier and heavier as they pile on.

I went into quarantine with every intention of being productive, but you know what I did?

I did puzzles, I watched crappy TV, I cooked, I had fires in my fireplace, I drank tea, I spent full days in bed, and I didn't pressure myself to get a single productive thing done.

I don't believe that anyone's worth is reflected in their productivity, but sometimes I forget to apply that to my own life. Allowing myself to just do whatever the fuck I wanted to do for a couple weeks has been the brain-hug I needed.

I feel better. A lot better, actually.

Y'know, we've got a long road ahead of us.

"We take care of us" also means that you gotta take care of yourself.

This process looks different for everyone, but my goodness does it feel good to start coming back into myself.

I guess the point of this thread is to share a little bit about what my wildly imperfect healing process looks like. It's peak seasonal depression times in PDX, and I hope everyone gets to take time to do things they enjoy.

Love you all.

Solidarity always.