Today marks years managing part of the of the iOS Accessibility team at Apple.

I remember thinking when I took this job it would be the hardest role I ever had. I wasn’t wrong. It’s also the most rewarding work I’ve ever done.

Want to hear a lil’ more? Storytime below:

I want to share this story, bc I think it’s a real example of how we can help champion others. ~2.5 years ago, my now-manager reached out to me. I was, at the time, an IC in Health at Apple. He told me about this role. I DID NOT feel qualified. But, he was convinced I was.

We talked a few times, and I finally agreed to interview. The interviews were terrifying. At one point someone said, “being an eng-manager on this team is 2 jobs. You’re a full time eng and a full time manager.” It was clear to me that the job is HARD and they were…

…making sure I wouldn’t bolt one year in. After the interviews, they surprised me and offered me the role. After prob more thinking and journaling than I’ve ever done for a job, I messaged my now-manager that I was planning to DECLINE. I cited work-life balance as my reason…

…but the real reason was that I didn’t feel like I could cut it. I’d only ever managed small-scale: a couple people as a tech lead, a small circus show… This team had (in a kind way) made it clear that the job is hard, fast-paced & high-stakes. After I sent my “no” email...

…I had another call with my now-manager. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but I do remember after the call it was clear to me: this person that I MASSIVELY respected in the Accessibility field believed I COULD do this job. He believed I could have a big impact.

I was torn. On one hand, I had a chill IC role that was likely going to let me move to the Berlin office within a year or so. On the other hand, I had a chance to either make a big impact or bomb completely in the area of tech I cared most about. So, I took a few more days and…

…made my decision to ACCEPT the job. Without a doubt, one of the main reasons I did it was the fact that someone way senior to me, doing the work I wanted to be doing believed in me. He advocated for me to the team & even back to me. He’s a HUGE reason I have this role. So now…

…I’m 2 years in. And I won’t lie; it’s been HARD AF. During that first year, there were drives back to SF sobbing after breaking builds and almost loosing a whole feature. There were near resolutions to quit b/c I was sure I was shit at it all… but then somehow…

…things started to ship. All the hard work started to pay off. I began to see our awesome users tweeting about and talking about things like Back Tap and Sound Recognition and improvements to apps they loved that we’d made. And the job too started to become more manageable.

I won’t say it’s easier, but the hard parts aren’t as jarring. Yes sometimes I break the build. I forget about a whole part of a feature I was supposed to do. I mess up and say something awk in a 1:1 or worry my directs hate me for a week. But at least now I can shrug and say…

…welp, let’s try again tomorrow. Somehow, even with all my mistakes & mishaps & royal eff-ups, I actually do think I’m pretty OK at this job. Things do (mostly) ship and my directs are doing well and achieving their goals! I feel like I’ve grown more in the past 2 years than…

…in almost any other period of my life. And I’m super grateful. So, coming full circle—the big thing I really want to convey here is that I’m somewhere I never thought I could be 2 years ago - and that’s in large part b/c someone I looked up to championed me. With that…

… a huge thank you to my manager (who I know reads my tweets b/c HR probably makes him ). I really hope I can pay this forward, and I hope sharing this tale helps to show the massive impacts we can have on each other.