1/15

I've had a lot of women in my DM's recently all struggling with the same issue, to different degrees: how to have their voices heard in the era of zoom.

Because though remote working is a struggle for all of us, it is even more of struggle for women.

2/15

That's because it's crystallising an issue we've all been aware of but maybe haven't seen in the cold light of day & that's how hard it can be for women to be heard in group settings

We're interrupted, ignored, talked over OR we're too loud, to abrasive, too pushy.

3/15

This shit show already existed when we were taking up space in physical meeting rooms, but now that we're remote, the result is that those same issues are amplified, the same challenges are deepened and the same outcomes are cemented.

It's exhausting & enraging.

4/15

The women I've spoken to are attempting to deal with it by accidentally finding themselves embodying two incredibly damaging stereotypes, that both hurt and hinder their workplace success.

The Wallflower and The Difficult Woman.

5/15

The Wallflower - women feel their voices are valued or that they can be heard & so they get quieter & quieter, until they're silent.

This pushes them to the periphery & sidelines them when it comes to opportunity.

But it's an understandable reaction.

6/15

The Difficult Woman - when frustrated with not being heard, some women start to assert themselves more, in order to to try to get a word in

But due to our gendered double standards, she comes across as aggressive (eye roll)

So this also sidelines her, but in a diff way

7/15

So whether 'The Wallflower' or 'The Difficult Woman' - it's tough to try to play at all, when the game is rigged.

So, what can we do? Especially when the despondency & despair of feeling so shut out & shut down is overwhelming?

8/15

Three things:

1 - 'The iron fist in a velvet glove'
2 - Build your 'safe space' community
3 - Find your allies

9/15

'The iron fist in a velvet glove' (aka 'Be More Kamala')

Mastering the 'calm but firm' angle, being aware of the tightrope we all walk as women & using it to your advantage.

Sugarcoat your strength, but make it unequivocal.

10/15

'Thank you, Dave, but I've not quite finished my point'

'Steve, fascinating POV, would you mind if I interject?'

'Mark, great catch, but if you'd let me finish then I can answer that concern'

11/15

Build your 'safe space' community

Being a woman in the workplace is tough at the best of times, but surrounding yourself with a girl gang makes it that much easier. And now we're WFH, you need a digital version of this sisterhood - a place to unravel, a place to scream.

12/15

Twitter DM groups are great for this, either ask if there's one you can join, or create one yourself.

Look for groups such as the one created by @LWS_Kim, in which you can find support, get hyped up or just have the ability to be vulnerable.

13/15

Find your allies

Men need to take responsibility for this too, but often, they don't even know they're doing it, so tell them.

Pull a few potential allies aside, privately & share your frustration & worry. Then ask them to do their part by helping to make space for you.

14/15

'I felt a bit sidelined in that chat & I do find it hard to be heard, would you mind helping me a bit, by asking for my opinion when we're on the zoom, so I can be invited into the conversation?'

Making men aware & making it actionable for them can result in real change.

15/15

I know it's tough & I'm not suggesting you do a Sandberg 'lean in' & fix it yourself, this is systemic, it's BIG & it's overwhelming.

But there are small steps we can take, such as the above, to ease it a bit.

So it's worth a try.