Everyone knows: You have to include the number for the crisis hotline any time you talk about suicide. Those are the rules. Right? Right.

But for something I’ve copied and pasted so many times, I didn’t actually know that much about it until recently. 1/

When you call a crisis hotline, the person answering the call will assess immediate risk, establish rapport, listen to your story, create a safety plan, and offer to follow up in 24 - 48 hours.

A simple but effective model. 2/

However, according to @JohnDraper13 who runs National Suicide Crisis Hotline, “We've disempowered people by saying your only hope is to call the hotline.”

Tell me more.

"It ain't just us hotline workers that can do this. Please, kids, try this at home!"

Great!

So...how? 3/

Enter QPR:

Question
Persuade
Refer

It’s like CPR, for your mind. Here are the Cliff’s Notes.

Myth: Nobody can stop suicide.

Fact: Suicide is the most preventable kind of death and almost any positive action or interaction may save a life. 4/

So how do I ask someone if they want to kill themselves?

It's actually quite simple: You just ask. Directly. If your gut tells you to ask--ask.

Here are some talking points from Tara Consolino, Director of Behavioral Health at Detroit VA... 5/

“I don't even know how to ask this. I'm worried about you. I'm afraid that you're thinking about killing yourself.”

Will this be a comfortable moment for you or them?

Absolutely not! And guess what? You can totally acknowledge that, too!

6/

“You know what, man? I get that I've just put you on the spot, and I'm super uncomfortable that I'm even asking you this!”

In fact, the more open and honest you are, the better. But the first step is asking the question.

Here are some sample sentences you can try...

7/

“I’m wondering if you're thinking about suicide.”
“Are you thinking about suicide?”
“Are you feeling suicidal today?

If that's too intense, try a less direct approach:

“Have you been unhappy lately?”
“Very unhappy?”
“So unhappy that you're thinking of ending your life?”

8/

You can work up to it! Baby steps are okay.

When in doubt, you can always go with: “Okay, look, man, I don't know. Do you ever wish you could go to sleep and not wake up?”

Just get the conversation going and give them the space to safely talk about how they’re feeling.

9/

Then, you persuade.

"Can you just give me today?"
"Can you give me this week?"
"Can you just give me time to hear you out and let's see if we can come up with a plan together?”

This is about keeping the person safe for a brief period of time. Not forever! Just right now. 10/

You’re not responsible for convincing them to live every day for the rest of your life. Just buy enough time to connect them to someone who can help. Refer them to a mental health professional. Or if that's not possible, a teacher, school counselor, someone you trust. 11/

The key points are: Ask the hard questions, let them know you care, make sure they’re safe, connect them with services, and then follow up. It can be a text, a call, a card, anything to let the person know you are invested in their life. 12/

When all someone wants to do is to stop the pain, all you have to do is plant one small seed of hope.

For more tips and talking points from experts, listen to #LastDay season finale, "Are You Feeling Suicidal?" from @LemonadaMedia. 13/13 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/last-day/id1468896686?i=1000507541333

PS: If you ever need someone to talk to, @800273TALK is available 24/7/365. Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).