Last year, I had a YAP (young ambitious person) in my DMs, and he was rubbing me completely the wrong way. His approach to get my attention was 100% off. I pretty much destroyed him, but today, we're friends. This is a thread on that experience. All YAPs could learn from it.

His initial message was fine. It was long, but I could tell he was young and hungry so I took the bait and decided to engage. I almost always engage.

In response to my question, he wrote another novel. There's nothing wrong about this yet, but its poor form. Short and concise answers are ideal, not long answers. I was assuming he didn't know this rule, so i have gave him the benefit of the doubt and asked another question.

So by this point, I really have no idea what he does. And I made sure he knew + gave him a chance to communicate is idea clearly in a way i could understand. I pretty much tell him to dumb it down for me. This is where...he loses me

His response was a 2/10.

The next response? a -10 /10. yes, that's a -10. At this point, I thought this was hot head know it all founder who didnt know what he needed and was throwing shit at the wall and see what stuck.

So my response pretty much said "Nice. Unless you actually have a plan, F off." The conversation could have ended here. He may have just gotten a hot head and just thought I was an ass. But he stayed in the game.

He kept it going. Not a great ask, but it was an ask to keep the convo going and it wasn't a novel. I was hanging my a thread but i was intrigued. he was clearly smart. Maybe too smart for his own good. I was down to see where this could lead. So i threw him another Q.

I shit you not, his next message to me was exactly 512 words long. In like 3 paragraphs. Clearly this guy isn't taking the hint. So, I rail into him a bit. I am straight up with my ask and I don't mince words.

We exchange a few more back and forth's, and I am pretty much done with the conversation. But I kinda liked him. He was smart, stubborn, but was willing to learn. So I was willing to drop some knowledge bombs on him. But I keep it real the whole time.

I tell him what he doesn't what to hear and WAM. Another dose of the truth. BOOM BOOM.

The chat finished off like this

Here's the deal. YAP are smart AF, they have less responsibilities than most and they have more energy than most. They are DANGEROUS in a good way. The issue is sifting out the hype vs the real. And the way I sift it out? I play some hard ball. Do they ball or do they wince?

So whenever I have a random "too confidence for their own good" YAP in my DMs, I always play ball. I am sometimes rude, I am always honest, and I generally share things that they won't want to hear. But the truth is, the true founders will take my input and get better w/ it.

What I love is when a YAP hits me up 6 months later with all this progress. For me, i'm just thinking "Fuck yes. good for you." And this is what exactly happened to this YAP....Who I dont see as a YAP anymore. I see him as a peer. He just never stopped charging forward.

There will be many that can't take the truth. They can't take the honestly. They will fight back. Call me a bad person. Tell me I don't know what they are doing. For people like this, I hope and pray they come back to me in 2 years with an update. I want all YAPs to win.

But some are fake. Some never were in it for the good reasons. I can sniff these people out in an instant. One sign of criticism and they cripple. And they never come back. For those, I say byeeeeee. Because we won't miss you. But for those that come and stay on your grind...

You morph from a YAP to a founder. You earn your right to be my peer. You don't get it because you slapped founder on your profile. You earn it by showing up, every day, learning, and getting better. And I am glad that @alecryncavage did, because now I have his story to tell :)

Alec is one of the smartest founders I know. And he's turned from that YAP from under a year ago to a fine founder recruiting world class teams. I am happy to be his friend. It doesn't matter where you get on the train, it matters where you get off. And here's a hint..Don't ;)

Are you a YAP wanting to make an impression? DMs open.