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In lieu of the MCR stream I want to talk about how revolutionary it was when revenge came out for a bunch of angry and helpless youth to hear a trauma narrative that wasn't centered around forgiveness and healing.
There's a very popular sentiment in therapy that to begin to move on you must forgive. "not for your abuser, but for yourself! you are giving them power over you, let go" I'd heard this over and over and it never sat well with me. Why would I forgive someone who hurt me?
How is holding them accountable and remembering what they did giving them power? You'll find that for a lot of people going through trauma, the toughest hurdle is learning not to blame yourself, and telling me that the ultimate goal is to forgive is counterintuitive to letting
go of that guilt and shame. If I have to forgive them, then I need to stop placing blame on them, and if I'm not blaming them, I must blame myself. This is what made the narrative in revenge so utterly delicious.
To hear someone say "You wronged me, you HURT me, and not only will I not forgive you, I am angry and I want justice, I want REVENGE" and to say that so loudly. It was something I, and many others had never encountered before.
You finally felt like you're entitled to the anger, that it was justified. Deathwish sent people reeling "The damage you've inflicted/temporary wounds, I'm coming back from the dead/And I'll take you home with me/I’m taking back the life you stole"
"I will avenge my ghost with every breath I take" "This hole you put me in wasn't deep enough/And I'm climbing out right now " Hearing that song was absolutely cathartic. And it started many on the process of realizing "actually fuck anyone who hurt me
I worked for this anger, for this rage, I earned getting to the point that I was finally directing it at the people responsible." We didn't owe THEM forgiveness. We only owed it to ourselves.
