One time I went to a restaurant and ordered a big salad. I got a bill and it was for $900 plus tax and I was like "dang, guess I won't be feeding this to my prize racehorse"
I tipped the waiter 11 cents and walked home in my chariot, holding my big salad with both arms, occasionally leaning over to inhale a mouthful of it. I looked casually at the peons walking around me, making sure to chew as loudly as possible so they knew.
The salad tasted a bit odd though. I looked down, and wouldn't you know! I was actually eating all the $7000 bills from my huge wallet! Boy, was my face red!
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